Lila's World

The Last Lions

2011-01-23T23:09:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/01/23/joubert.last.lions/index.html

I see a lot of this type of article come through my various friend circles - being the child of hippies, I've been hearing about these problems long before we had the world wide web. A lot of people are hit by the depressing state of animal populations, by the terrifying diagrams of fading cultures and species and an entire mini-universe of interactions that we only just barely understand.

That frustrates me, this focus on the negative. It's like watching American news shows, fear-mongering. What we need is hope-mongering. We need to remember the strength of this planet which supports us, all of us from idiot hunter to commune hippies.

We forget stories like the one we found in the DNA of Degus - after a volcanic disaster, LESS THAN A HUNDRED INDIVIDUALS of the species survived, yet these creatures are now a plentiful pest in their home country and beloved pet all over the world. The entire species was reborn from less than a hundred - think about that for a moment. There are serious problems caused by this, of course, in breeding always has side effects, and degus will never be as strong or healthy as they were before the disaster, but they survived.

What we need to remember when we hear statistics about rapidly decreasing animal populations is that THERE IS STILL TIME. Some species have only a few dozen members left, but there is still a chance. Lion may die out in a generation if we don't change, but we still have time to change. The world will find a way to balance, if we only meet it halfway. We don't need to destroy every single oil refinery in the entire world, or kill big game hunters like they killed their endangered prey - we need to change, yes, we need to grow as a species ourselves, but there is still time. There is still a very real chance that we can save the lions, and the degus, and all the other things that make this world work. These things which keep us alive.

We don't need fear. We just need enough hope, enough to make the changes neccessary. We are at the cross roads and no one else can save us now except ourselves. Have hope. Believe in change. Then become that change.

Bachelorette Party

2010-12-23T13:18:00.003-07:00

A big part of my recovery over the last 6 months has been learning what keeps me healthier and then trying to remember to do it on a semi-regular basis. As a result, Yves and I have started to develop a bedtime routine - he tucks me into bed, brings me my medications (because otherwise I always forget), and we talk for anywhere between 20min to an hour while my meds kick in. Since I can't seem to fall asleep with Yves nearby (apnea = a tad nerve wracking!) he then goes back to the living room and, in the immortal words of Peg from Married with Children, he "has fun without [me]" for a few hours. As a result, for the first time in a decade I am actually getting to bed at a reasonable hour and sleeping the 12+ hours a night I need to prevent muscle spasms and all manner of other physical problems. (Such a simple, yet insane, solution!)

But last night, the girls had other plans for me. Despite the hectic season, about a dozen of my closest friends managed to make it out for a nice (gluten-free and vegan friendly!) dinner at Chianti's - where I proudly displayed an 80's veil complete with rosette and a red boa kindly donated by friends. We then had a rope bondage class with possibly the most non-threatening 'bear' I've ever met (and his sweet but blushing girlfriend!). We also quickly learned that Fiona is beyond inventive, Danica has a secret genius for rope tying, and Jennifer really, really loves making rope traps to catch me in! :P

After bondage class, we ventured to the always-empty Rosie's where my unofficial bridesmaid, Fiona, hosts kareoke every saturday and she set us up with what was basically a private party. Kareoke, a whole bar to ourselves, and all the cheesy 80s and 90s song a girl could ask for! I was serenaded by her friends and Fiona herself, in the most embarassing fashion possible, including a lap dance O.o A very good friend of Yves' and mine, Pooky, even managed to come out despite getting in a car accident only a few hours earlier, and he was more than happy to join in the serenading.

And so the night progressed, with lots of alcohol, singing, and hilarious antics. Eventually, Yves (my loving fiance) was called to rescue the remaining partiers, which he gallantly did despite having worked for the past 28hrs. After dragging my drunk ass home, he sat with me and regailed my east coaster bff with hilarious stories about our many friends to prepare her for the wedding :P Eventually, however, we were sent to bed, and Yves tucked my sloshy self in.

So where is this all going? Well, early this morning I woke up - still a little tipsy! - to find Yves still wasn't in bed. When I retrieved him from a batman-themed campout on the couch, he woke up enough to come to bed and we talked for over an hour ... just like we do every night. Even on the night of my bachelorette, I couldn't go without our little routines!

In short, my bachelorette did exactly what it's meant to: let me blow off some wedding-stress steam with amazing people, got me a tad fasnookered, and reminded me exactly why I'm marrying my big, sweaty frenchman! Because at the end of the day, he's my best friend, my favourite person, and the center of my universe.

<3 <3 <3 Can't wait for the wedding, when we get to do this all over again with ALL our friends and loved ones.

Except John + Louise from kayakyak. jerks.

---
(I'll post some photos on here if I find any that are fit for public consumption. Me in a veil is definitely a sight! :P )

Search Terms

2010-10-15T13:06:00.003-06:00

I want to send a big shout out to the person who searched "chinchilla chainmail hammock" yesterday and was referred to this site. I have no idea why you were searching such a thing, but now I desperately want one. Your search term was a much needed bright light in a shit-tastic day.

[ps. For the record, a chainmail hammock is totally doable but incredibly dangerous. Between little holes for feet to get caught in and tiny cracks for whiskers to get caught in, the whole idea is a giant danger zone for chinchillas and degus alike, which is probably why your google search sent you here. If you must, get one custom made (email me for a referral) and ensure that a proper fleece cover is attached VERY securely to save the feetsies of your poor chirla. That being said, chinchillas are notorious in their mischievous ability to get at anything they shouldn't, so I still say its a bad idea. A cool one, but a bad one.]

Last Published April 18 2010

2010-10-11T06:27:00.001-06:00

This blog has seen high and low times before... more of the latter than the former, to be fair, but never have I left longer than a few weeks, maybe two months tops. I posted on a different blog before this one, send update letters to my mailing list at least twice a year. I think I've had some sort of digital update system for at least 5 or 6 years now.

My website is full of images from 5 or 6 years ago. The new one sits half finished, full of almost realized ideas and necessary changes that have never seen the public forum. This blog and 4 others like it sit, rotting, like a million other abandoned internet projects across the web. I've always been a touch flighty, but 6 months between updates? What happened?

Life happened. I stopped updating when I met my wonderful partner last June. I wrote a little about how amazing he was and how busy I was with him, but not much else. I started a blog about our fuzzy family and rescue work - I still have half a dozen unfinished drafts saved to it. I update my facebook regularly, but even that I ignored for most of July ... And obsessively checked it all of August. Why?

Because I spent all of July in the hospital.

I've made no secret over the years that I suffer from crippling depression - I believe that secrecy only breeds more pain, in everyone. Depression does not just affect the sufferer, but every single person they love. Every person they interact with. It effects our jobs, our pets, our loves, and even our damn diets! So why pretend when we can accept and start working to rebuild?

But I was not in the hospital just for depression. It got me in, certainly, and kept me there longer. But I've been suffering from an unusual, unending chemical depression since my winter in BC and it did not suddenly appear overnight. The man I love, my spouse and fiance, has never known me happy - I met him already deeply entrenched in my chemical nightmare. And all the love in the world couldn't make it go away.

So yes, I needed help. I have what's called Catatonic Depression, which means I shut down when things get really bad. Every december or early january I generally close my door and refuse to move or see anyone for a week or so - when things get really bad, I shut down for more than days. I stop eating. Moving. Caring. Yves, wonderful man that he is, saw this and got me the help I needed to deal with my depression - medications and care that I would never have sought out myself. He brought me to the hospital where they cured my chemical imbalance with pills and renewed my will to improve the emotional imbalance as well.

But that's not the whole story, nor even close. You see, when they admitted me - when Yves sat with the doctors and told them the whole truth - they not only immediately admitted me, they told us we were lucky to have come in when we did, as from my symptoms I'd had less than three weeks to live.

I have autoimmune issues, and have since birth. I was hospitalized for the first time at age 3. I have flare ups which range in intensity but consistently grow longer and more severe each year. These include everything from lung and throat infections to more complex issues ranging from "cold flashes" of Reynode's Syndrome where my body stops providing heat, to intense arthritic pain, to tachycardia and beyond.

As a child, I barely let it slow me down. Constant colds and fevers were part of life, and it was not until jr high that I even realized it was unusual to be sick 20 days out of the month. I quit track when the pain and asthma grew worse. Eventually, I stopped singing and playing music in public as my joint pain increased and my voice changed from constant infections. Still I faced each day with a smile - why dwell on things you can't change? The pain has always been manageable except during an intense attack, which generally only lasted a few hours anyways. I continued to train, to grow strong. Even when new health problems arose in High School, I tried to greet each challenge with strength - I lost 50lbs in 3 months and laughed it off, glad I could finally fit a size 4 even if only temporarily. I gave up fatty foods, wheat, and dairy. I learned to cook my own meals and to modify my workout routine to suit my new limitations, even taking up boxing to help maintain my balance and core strength as they faded. I learned to lip read as I lost my hearing. I grew, adjusted, changed, and learned from each and every new obstacle.

Every time something new threw itself down before me, I did my best to work with it, knowing that someday -maybe not now- I would understand the plan behind them. Wheat intolerance taught me the value of proper eating. Sugar and dairy intolerances taught me the joys of moderation (sometimes). Losing weight taught me the frustration of being weak and inspired me to work harder to maintain a healthy body despite the growing reasons to give up on physical health.

I almost died from a combination of ill health and depression... Yet I had always faced my health concerns head on before my winter in BC. What changed so much that I ended up lying on the floor for days on end when a few short years before I'd been working 4 jobs and struggling to keep my work week down to 90hrs so I could visit my loved ones in the hospital? When did I become the one who needed visiting?

Pain is the main answer. Chronic pain, like fear, is the mind killer. It eats you alive from the inside out until you become a shell. Yet after 3 months nearly pain free, I am off my medications and facing the full return of daily pain, of weekly flare ups and an ache that never quite goes away. Why did I give up that pain management if chronic pain is so difficult to deal with?

Because I am more than my pain, more than my illness, and far more than my depression. On medication I felt ok all the time... never good, never bad. I lost the will to do anything at all, even without the catatonic depression. 4 months of bedrest recovering from my physical limitations and I found I was self-limiting. I wasn't recovered, because I wasn't myself. If I'm not creating or evolving what is the point of recovering?

So here I am, sore and exhausted and ill, battling the same depression demons I have fought since I was 8. But -for the first time- my fiance is getting to know me, the real me. And he still holds me when the pain gets bad, and he still loves me when I'm too ill to rise for days on end - because there is no cure for my disease, but there is a cure for depression: HOPE.

I suffered this summer, worse than I care to admit even to myself. I spent a month nearly catatonic, another month under 24hr watch at the hospital, and nearly EIGHT WEEKS bed ridden when I returned home. I've only been back on my feet for three weeks and I still have to limit myself to a maximum of 12 hours upright each day, maybe 5 working, yet I'm upright - nothing else matters, really. I have a good man (who will literally carry me when I am too weak to continue), a beautiful home and a loving family (furry and human). Our chinchilla/daughter is recovering from her own illness. My Bella degu is self training to stay on my desk while I work, entertaining me for hours.

My hands hurt. Typing this I have to take breaks, both from the arthritic ache and from the effort of holding my arms out so long. I get winded making dinner, can't stand still long enough to do a load of dishes. I have new scars all over my face and body, my facial mole has been replaced by a crater, and I'm so beyond broke after 2 years nearly unemployed that I can't actually remember what paying all my bills feels like. But I'm still here.

Yet again, I've faced my demons and come back from the brink - survived. As we learn details of my autoimmune condition, the chances of living past 50 drop every test. Odds of pain increasing the rest of my life are staggering, and I become almost instantly immune (or allergic) to any medications. But I'm also planning my April Fool's wedding. I sleep beside a man I love, and get cuddles from my loving pets before bed. I'm learning to love work again, learning to embrace all the obsessive habits I tried to give up when I moved in with my beau and rediscovering myself within them.

I will be the person who beats the odds, or I will die at 50 having lived a full life (or three). Pain may be the mind killer, but love and hope are far more important than a mere mind. Besides, I have pills for that now, too ;P

Don't flee. Don't despair. Don't want anything too much, either. Life is balance, good AND bad. Without it, we'd be lost in that grey neutrality that's worse than death.

Far, Far Too Long

2010-04-18T12:31:00.002-06:00

I can't believe it has been this long since I've posted. Our lives have been... hectic. Things have been bad, but not so bad. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and having my loving spouse at my side has made things eminently more bearable.

That's right, I can say spouse now. What else have you been missing while I've been gone?

Well, Yves and I are not just engaged, we're now officially commonlaw. Soon we get to fill out papers to that effect and everything (apparently it's called a "life change" form!). Then I'll be able to afford to get my teeth cleaned and fun things like that, because my big strong provider man also has benefits! Whoo hoo!

(

(photo: Sophie devours her ill gotten gains!)

Sophie is still the joy of our lives, and has almost completely eaten through my computer cord now (one chew is all it takes apparently!) but she has also learned that playtime only happens if she behaves, so she's much better behaved. Or much better at being naughty secretly, we're not sure which yet. We have just purchased her a cat litter box, because she informed us a few months ago that she hated the ferret litterbox and refused to use it any more. She loves it, and does the most adorable balancing act on the side, like a chinchilla tightrope walker! :)

Yves has finally adjusted to the new degus, as the girls are much quieter and calmer than the boys, but he still refuses to hug me when I'm holding them for fear they'll jump on him. (A well-founded fear, as new people are their favourite thing to explore!). Sadly, Tanuki -the older girl- has diabetes, and has started to go blind now, so we are thinking of downgrading their cage to reduce her number of falls. They do operate like chinchillas normally, mapping a space mentally and calculating jumps etc on the fly, but sadly Tanuki is a bit too silly for this, and has a tendency to jump right into things instead :( Bella, however, shows no signs of diabetes yet, so we are hopeful she will live a long and full life.

(photo: Bella -front- inquires about the bright lights we keep flashing in her eyes while Tanuki -back- scratches an itch. The bare patch on Tanuki was from over grooming, and has now healed nicely. For more pics and stories, check out chirlababies.blogspot.com)

We are still apartment searching, though we have applied at a glorious, huge, bright, AND cheap 2 bedroom downtown. Cross all your fingers and toes for us, this is the dream apartment! Sooooooo much nicer than this falling down house (no offense, Jerry, I'm sure it will be lovely when you're done repairs). We both very excited for OUR first place - that is, a home which belongs equally to both of us. Though, to be honest, I'm more excited about being able to establish homes for everything instead of the constant "where does this go?" battles we now have. Luckily, the apartment also has tonnes of storage, so we're hopeful everything will go much smoother once we've moved.

On top of the usual Rick drama (he is now gone from our house, and from our lives, permanently), the job search (working temporarily at Terry's studio again, and training up the lovely Melissa Carriere to replace me!), and constant illness (Yves - more sinus infections and a 10 day stomach flu. Me - three billion lung infections.... this is starting to get old), there has also been a more serious reason for my recent scatterbrained ways.

Sadly, my cousin Erin passed away after a motor vehicle accident a few weeks ago. She was technically my father's cousin, due to the joys of our massive family, but she was only a few years older than me and we were practically inseperable until puberty. When my grandfather remarried, she and her family (her son, Tyson, and then-husband, Pete) moved in with me at the northside family home. She was a wild and troubled person, beautiful and vivacious, the kind of crazy friend you wanted to party with but wouldn't trust with your keys. She taught me how to see the world as an adventure, brought me out of my shy girl shell and made me the bold and loud person you all know me as now, and I will always miss her.

During the time we lived together, I kidnapped her for a photoshoot. While almost all of my images from NAIT were stolen during my move to Victoria, somehow this session managed to survive intact, buried on a backup drive. I was happy to be able to share the images with my family when her ex-husband requested them, and honored when they chose one of the images for the memorial pamphlet. I am making this image the photo of the month in her honor. If you knew Erin, please visit the R.I.P Erin group on Facebook.

Much love, cousin. You will be missed.

(photo: Erin Huggan, 2005. She passed away this April, only a few weeks after her 29th birthday.)

Due to this tragedy on top of every other nightmare in our lives the past few months, I have postponed any new shoots and have been delayed completing the editing of those already shot. However, I am hoping that with new plans in the works I will be feeling a little more functional soon and will be able to post new work in the coming weeks.

Take this opportunity to sit for a moment and appreciate all you have. Tell the ones you love how you feel. It is wrong that we only appreciate what we have when it is gone - I ask you, dear friends and readers, to go out and love while you have it. Live your lives for today. See the world as an adventure, and appreciate every moment, the way my sweet cousin did.

Musical Evolution

2010-02-16T03:09:00.003-07:00

It is 3 in the morning, and I sit at my computer whiling the hours away while I wait for my late working spouse to return home. Thinking of him, I start to search YouTube for Sinatra songs, his favourite. Sinatra leads to Nat King Cole, and on to 60s jazz until I sit listening to Miles Davis blowing "Summertime" and all I can think about is what this song meant to me when I played it in high school.

I was a band geek. More than a geek. When the conductor made jokes about old movies, albums, or bands I was often the only one to laugh. My father and I would sing songs from "Guys and Dolls" to each other during the summers... in the winter, the whole family would sing Peter, Paul and Mary songs while we drove the hour into the city.

My parents were just the same - music lovers, band geeks. My mother had played piccolo, my father played nothing but records... But lord, what records. One winter our septic tank cracked and flooded hundreds of records stacked in the basement of our tiny farmhouse. My father still gets teary eyed thinking about it today. He gets angry at the loss of so much beauty.

When I was a teenager, I heard these records constantly - everything from The Flying Lizards (even their obscure second album) to Peter Gabriel to Ella Fitzgerald. I had amassed a massive "musical vocabulary:" an unconcious compendium of sorts about music, not just the history but the way it fit together, the way it was made. I sang every day of my life, despite constant lung infections: I recall, vividly, refusing to speak all day just to have enough voice left to croak a few notes before bed. Life may have been confusing, hard, but music I understood.

Classical music is like math - it seems impossible until you do it once, and then it becomes old hat. Each new song is a new equation to master, a new form of a2+b2=c2. It was beautiful, it was simple, and it was controlled. Jazz, however... Jazz is painting. There are rules, techniques, brush strokes and colour palettes, but in the end you must feel it to master it. In the end, your understanding of how music works is what takes you to the next level.

When I led the jazz band all those years ago, when I sat the cocky teens in rows and forced them to practice songs they didn't understand, I didn't know what the song was supposed to sound like. A few of our pieces came with CDs of cheap variations of the song, like background music for karaoke. A few I knew through the musical vocabulary I'd built as a child - songs like "Fly Me to the Moon." I remember that song well, for my teacher actually threw his hands up in disgust listening to us play it... I was the only person who had ever heard it before: no one knew how it was meant to be played.

Today, any 10yr old kid with an internet connection can research any song. Any genre, any artist, any era. In a heartbeat. In grade 12, I did a report on the "king of hot jazz." We had internet by then, of course, and I waded through website after website looking for snippets of information, weighing the potential chance of bias in the source of the site. I became obsessed with King Oliver and his role in the development of jazz, researched far more than my classmates. But until tonight I had never heard him play.

It is not so long since I went to high school. Long enough for my classmates to marry off, have a few kids. Long enough for a cultural revolution - because that's exactly what we're facing.

10 years ago, you had to wade through terrible search engines to find obscure pages with information that probably couldn't be trusted. Today, 10sec on google gave me not only a fairly-reliable Wikipedia entry on King Oliver, but youtube videos of his work:

Until the release of the world wide web in the mid 90s, information on this historical figure was restricted to obscure music history books, that I neither had the patience for nor access to. With the internet, he suddenly became someone I could actually discover, learn about, be influenced by.

I hate the concept of "web 2.0" ... it's an empty phrase, a buzzword. But the truth is, something did change in the past few years. The internet became something more than what it was in the 90s - and I should know. I was right there for all of it. I got my first computer in 1990. I had an email address before the mainstream media even knew what email was. And I was coding sites and bitching with hackers long before it was cool.

What changed? Everything. In the 90s, the internet was as static as the library... It was the electronic form of the same books, the same discussions, the same arguments and facts that already existed in our lives. Now, we have entire paradigms that cannot exist without the online world: Facebook chief among them. What was a tweet? Blogs, sure, they were fanzines, the internet just ramped up their availability and toned down the nerdiness. But tell me, 10 years ago did you know where half your high school classmates lived? 10% even? What is your godmother's favourite colour? Does your ex-bestfriend like to waste time at work? These are questions you could only answer about people that mattered to you, people you saw every day or made an effort to know. I can tell you about people I hated in high school. I can tell you the name of my ex's new girlfriend. And what she looks like. I can tell you about my fiance's ex. I can tell you what my aunt is doing for lent, on the other side of a mountain range.

In the 90s, websites were weird books and email was a fast way to send a letter. Now, an entirely new creature has evolved.... A world where I can find and play a video from 1961 in a heartbeat. A world where my fiance can be in constant contact with me even while he works in another city, in another province.

What does this mean for the world? I can't tell you. I spent 4 years researching the growth of technology and its impact on humanity and the north american culture, and I still can't tell you.

But I can tell you what it means for music. Now, every kid has a dad like mine. Every kid is exposed to anything you can imagine - one random youtube search, and they've discovered Talking Heads. Or Carmina Burana. Or Patrick Stewart reading the complete works of Shakespeare... (yah, that's not music, but it would definitely inform your view of the world!)...

In short, everyone now has access to more music than anyone could ever hear in a lifetime, at the touch of a button. Legally or illegally, easily or with some effort, it is ALL there. (All? Really? What are we losing in the digital conversion?)

Everyone growing up in the web 2.0 generation now has, almost by definition, without even trying, a greater musical vocabulary than I ever had. They have access to the songs they're learning, no matter how poor they are. Even lazy kids will put in the effort. Even ones who don't care.

It's a brave new world. I'm waiting to see what comes next...

In olden times, there was only so much information. You could go to university and learn just about everything people had to teach. There were other things, sure, rules about crop rotation or reading the wind for good sailing, but the main rules of life - the mathematics of our understanding of the world - were finite. Now, we have specialists for everything, because to be a generalist is to be lost in a sea of never ending information.

Now, we have access to anything, at a minimal effort. Will this make us better, or worse? Will these incredible vocabularies we develop help or hinder? Will we become greater than we ever were, or wallow in self congratulation?

No one knows. No one can know.

But I grew up reading golden age SF, and those guys didn't think too highly of the general population.
Just saying.

6 weeks of no news and blues?

2010-02-16T02:36:00.000-07:00

So what's new in Lila's World?

The traditional Dec/Jan blues.. Abated only by the constant affection + feedings from Yves. We adopted out our males degus, which were fighting and scaring the beau, adopted out our rescued chinchillas to a place we call chinchilla heaven (3hrs a day out of cage in a massive play room? sign me up!), and not two hours later adopted two of the sweetest, quietest little degu girls. So our house returns back to normal: three fuzzies, Sophie jealous, and a squeaking wheel.

What else? Really, you want more? Well, for to learn about the fuzzies there's always chirlababies.blogspot.com which I update much more than this site. Because, let's face it, they're cuter than I am.

February marked a major birthday for me, and I celebrated with more than 30 of my closest friends... a wild mix, from early 20s punks to late 40s intellectuals. Yves and I successfully hosted our first joint party, everyone drank and ate and talked until they could stand no more, and when all was said and done I was left not only with a dozen empty platters and 4 boxes of cookies, but with a besotted Frenchman who proceeded to ask me to marry him at least a dozen times.

Luckily, he's the love of my life.

So marraige is on the horizon, whatever that means. I have been lucky enough to find someone who loves me, understands me, and is patient with me... AND he cooks! Don't let me mess this one up, life.

Been in physio for the last 6 weeks or so for my spine again, and the pain is back to where it was this time last year. Arthritis is bad, but normal for an Edmonton winter. Panic attacks have returned with the engagement, but who didn't expect that? Apparently, however, I now cling to Yves when my nightmares shake me, rather than push him away, which bodes well...

And life marches on.

No steady work, a few modeling gigs but nothing to write home about. Trying to find a new apartment for April, in the hopes of keeping the finances out of the red for a change. Training the fuzzies to love me, to cheer me when I'm sad. Trying to get a grip on doing household chores for two instead of one. Trying to get a grip on being an "us" instead of a "me."

All in all, precisely the journey I never thought I'd see... feared I might see... and one which I thoroughly enjoy. Suburban life, much as it pains me, is not so bad. But wasn't that always what made it so terrifying - the ease in which you could slip into normalacy and be lost forever?

Our 2 Degu Fosters are Ready For Adoption!

2010-01-03T06:01:00.003-07:00

See: chirlababies.blogspot.com for more about the degus and chinchillas we've rescued!

In a previous post, I talk about our newest house guests: two degu males. These are two of the cutest, most interesting and most intelligent animals I've ever cared for (and I've cared for most every animal you can think of!).

Much as I love Sophie, our chinchilla, she is a lot like a cat - that means, she sleeps 20hrs a day. When she's not sleeping, she runs in circles demanding out attention (or chews on EVERYTHING). The degus, despite their reputation as "destructo-rats" are much less destructive than any of our chinchillas. In general they are content to chew exactly what they're meant to (ie toys) though Alpha's teeth remain quite overgrown from lack of proper chew toys at the rescue, so he will run his teeth along the metal cage to trim them. The boys also play all day long, random spurts of excitement followed by long naps, so they are much more likely to be playing when you want to watch them. They make the most adorable noises in the world, but are generally so quiet our tv shows drown THEM out.

I see a lot of people buy guinea pigs or rabbits because they're cute (and hardy!), only to be disappointed by their lack of interaction. In short, they're boring. Degus, however, are a million times more entertaining and ready to interact with you. (Omega, for instance, loves my robe and will climb back and forth from one sleeve to another endlessly). We are giant jungle gyms for the little monkeys. Our boys readily come to the cage door when it's opened, excited for playtime (and treats). They are also far more resilient than people give them credit for: provided they have proper chewing objects, they are pretty much indestructible.

It continues to shock me that people turn to more traditional animals, like dogs and cats (which need HUGE amounts of attention) or guinea pigs and rabbits (which are generally more interested in hiding than they are in playing), when "exotics" like degus would better fit their needs. Going partying? Fill the food and water, give them a little playtime, and there's no problem if you don't come home for 24 hours: do the same with a dog and you'll come home to a huge mess. Do the same to a cat and you'll find a mess AND get the cold shoulder for days!

(photo: thanks to Rick Leblanc for the pic, taken the first night we brought the boys home.)

Degus do have very specific needs, but they are simple and easy to manage:

tall cage (not even terribly large, just big enough for climbing and preferably a deep bottom for burrowing)
pumice stone and branches (to keep teeth under control - Alpha and Omega, without this before we fostered them, cannot close their mouths properly due to overgrowth, but this is self-correcting now. Branches also provide much needed calcium)
fresh food and water (chinchilla pellets, a water bottle, and a handful of hay every other day - what's so difficult there?)
dust bath (this isn't really a chore: it's more like the most adorable playtime ever that you get to schedule once a week!)

Our boys also adore their hammock, (in particular, they like to cuddle on it and watch my spouse playing WoW all night long), but luxuries like hammocks and exercise balls are not necessary. All they truly need is space, noms, and hugs. They are happy to run around a SAFE room (read online about chinchilla proofing, the same applies to these boys) without a ball, if you cannot afford one (if you do, we found a chinchilla or ferret ball works well, as it does not hurt their spines and will not overheat, being so large). They need to be kept away from plastic at all costs, but that just means their toys are cheaper and easier than any cat or dog: simply grab a branch off a tree! (To be fair, it should be a tree that doesn't see a lot of traffic - and thus pollution - nor any pesticides, but that's not too hard to find: I have a number of friends more than happy to supply our fuzzies year round).

The best part about a small animal is that they go in a cage when they're done playing. No worrying if the dog ate your slippers, no hairballs on your couch - just two adorable little friends stacked on top of eachother quietly snoozing! (Which is precisely what our boys are doing right now). The only mess is their clean and scent-less poops, which they often accidentally fling from their cages with their tails, but even this is FAR more contained than with a chinchilla, and nothing a quick dust-buster attack won't fix (some cages will even remove this problem all together). Cages need to be wiped down once a week, but it takes only a few minutes with the proper cage set up.

As you can tell from this rant, I adore these two degus and would be happy to keep them forever. Unfortunately, my spouse (and more importantly, the man who pays for animal food!) is terrified of them. Male degus do tend to dominance fight a few minutes of the day - this is akin to dogs growling and wrestling, and perfectly safe/normal/etc - however, this fighting can be unnerving for some people. Since I love my spouse more than my fuzzies, I've decided to remain fostering rather than adopt the boys myself.... which is good news for you! Why? Because that means they're up for adoption!

(photo: again, thanks to Rick Leblanc for the pic. This is the house the boys came with from the rescue: we immediately removed it, as they were clearly chewing it and accidental injestion of plastic is deadly. Sophie has a large version of the same house but never chews it, so we've decided to leave it for her.)

The two boys are fostered from Autumn Hollow Sanctuary , which means they cannot be bred, killed or taken to another rescue if you don't like them. (Which, all in all, sounds pretty practical to me!) They are FREE to adopt! However, they do not come with the large cage they are currently in (Autumn would be happy to find you another suitable one from her collection). We will, however, happily provide you with some food, bedding, dust bath, toys, and pumice stones. If you ask nicely, I'll even throw in the tiny water bottle donated to us by friends and their adorable little wooden house! I'm also attempting to learn to make hammocks for the fuzzies this month, so if you get lucky I might have a spare when I'm done. (The degus spend about 80% of their time on or in their hammock house, so this is an important luxury for the fuzzies).

Caring for the degus over time is incredibly cheap once you have the basics we are donating: we spend less than $10 a month on their food (not including the occasional seeds for treats and training) and another $3 for pumice stones. Bedding is bought in a large bag: $20 worth lasts us roughly 3 months for all three cages, and the same goes for hay: a smaller bag ($7-$12) would be fine for the boys alone over the same period of time.

If you're interested in adopting Alpha and Omega (or any of the other degus at Autumn Hollow), please contact myself at froghaven@gmail.com or Autumn at the website above. We are in North/Central Edmonton and happy to have visitors by to check out the boys, and the rescue is in Alberta Beach.

Yet Another Prediction Come True: Google Wave

2009-12-28T04:24:00.002-07:00

I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was when I heard about the development of Google Wave. What is it? Well, basically it's like gmail and instant chat had a baby... And the godmom was Microsoft Word. It combines the instant access of chat to the conversation/large archive system that makes gmail so revolutionary, with added functionality similar to editing and image in Word (such as adding charts, images, and ... video? Oh yah, it does that! In fact, you can even call each other using an added app, and the wave will save not only the audio recording of your conversation but also a TRANSCIPTION).

Sorry. Having a bit of a nerd-gasm. Let's try to stay calm, shall we?

Basically, this is the interactive technology the internet has been promising since that first "LO" in Oct '69. (Or, at the very least, the realization of technology I predicted 15+ years ago. Like Adobe Bridge. And Gmail.) Like Gmail was so many years ago, it's still in beta and available only through invites, and with good reason (the program is finicky, missing a lot of functionality, and isn't terribly user friendly at the moment), yet the brilliance still shines clearly through. The sheer number of "invite me!" comments on any blog entry I've found will attest to the usefulness of instant-access, fully recoverably group messages...

And then I started to find the apps. (You can play ZORK! ALL OF THEM!)

The base program is uber-simple, basically instant chat that you can log into when the other users are off line, with the ability to drop in maps or "yes/no" buttons. However, with the ever increasing number of apps available from google, other companies, and even private individuals, this simple framework will clearly not last long. There are some very serious issues with this beta program, which I'm sure will be addressed in coming updates, but for now here are some of my complaints:

1) Can't make tables. (I LIKE CHARTS. I found a flowchart app that's awesome, but why can't I make a simple html table? Even Word let's me do that!)

2) Can't easily include an image of your choice, either from your computer or the internet. (Unlike blogger, there's no "add picture" button - why not? There are some basic photo apps already available, but I want the simple, useful functionality of an "add my picture" button - and why not?)

3) Can't copy entire conversations to a new wave, only individual replies. (This makes me MENTAL! WTH NOT??)

4) The program has both a top, drop down nav system AND a side bar system based on Gmail. Whaaa? It works quite well once you get used to it, actually, but it is definitely not going to be easily adopted by the average luser.

5) You cannot edit and comment within one main document - rather, your wave becomes a long list of replies to replies. (I dunno, maybe I just haven't worked this out yet, but so far I haven't figured something out - this means you can't edit/markup/comment on a "document-style" main chunk of information, like you can with Word, but instead must break a project up into numerous tiny pieces in order to maintain the usability.)

6) The 'comment' style addition of new sections is a great idea, much like adding a sticky note to a document, and makes it very easy to keep track of who said what BUT unlike google talk the icon and name representing each user is not listed in a section separate to the content: that is, there is no indent between icon and info, so your content ends up being moved around based on the length of the name, etc, and the only way to fix this is to add extra lines at the top of each comment... useless. Why not add an indent code like google talk?)

7) Currently, apps are added one of two ways depending on the type of app being added: a bot is added as a contact, and a physical app (such as a map or chart) is dropped in using a web address. HUGE issues with this system, not the least of which is figuring out how both work. Adding a bot is easy using the new system, though slightly time consuming, but it is frustratingly added to the same contact list as all your friends/colleagues you are trying to Wave with... This means wading through dozens of apps (I had 15 in my first 10minutes using wave) trying to find the person who actually needs the information. There clearly need to be two lists to keep these options separate. However, this was definitely the less frustrating option as adding something like my flowchart quickly proved to be ridiculously aggravating.

First, you can't copy and paste app info, it resets back to blank. Then, you go to re-add the app later in the wave or to a different one and realize you had no way to save the address for it, no databank of "previously used apps" - the only ones you can drop back in easily are the two basic ones supplied by google. As a result, you have to go hunt down the original address (and hope you pasted it in the original wave beneath the app!). Most of the apps also seem to be as bare bones as the Wave interface itself, which is about as visually stimulating as a website in 1994, which is fine if they work, but most of the apps I've encountered have had small hiccups (the base length of the flowchart, for instance, is not large enough to show you all the options for labels) or go offline altogether (being hosted separately from the main program, they go offline whenever a developer decides, meaning they disappear entirely from your wave, leaving a gaping hole!).

8) LABELS. Seriously. You destroyed the folder system with your awesome "everything is in one big pile and you just find the ones you want through a preset search we calls labels" system. Then you thought, "hey, we developed a brand new universe changing program that would be perfect for labels... but we won't include them." Seriously? I know they must be coming but... man, is this this hard to navigate without them!
[edit: there is a folder function, which operates much like labels on blogspot. It's not super great, but I'm retracting my complaint. Instead, I'm adding two more!

8a) PERMISSIONS. I can't figure out how to control access to certain pieces of information - some apps will allow you admin privileges over their content, but that's the closest I've managed. This is an obvious issue.

8b) DELETING. So far, I have made roughly 10 waves. Of them, 3 have accidentally included people I didn't want to include. Luckily, at first it was friends with unusual names that I didn't recognize - thinking they were app bots, I added them only to be surprised. Fine, right? Except that you can't remove people from a wave. You also cannot delete a wave - there is a trash box, but it's a folder like any other (much like the spam or trash folders on gmail, except without the 'delete permanently' option). This doesn't seem like much of a problem until you realize I now have 6 wacko test waves busy interacting with bots from within my trashcan... One of which has accidentally contacted a pseudo-enemy of mine! That's right, I had a contact in my gmail from a previous job that was imported to wave - while I abhor the person, and the project we did together so many years ago, I am now pals with them on wave. While attempting to delete them from my contacts list, I accidentally added them to a wave! Now the poor person, who hasn't heard from me in over 3 years, has a wave in their inbox that says "Hi! I love wave, look I can play zork!" More confusingly, it doesn't even have the Zork app added. Double fail. With no way to delete the wave or remove the user, I've hidden it -and my shame- at the bottom of my trash bin and will attempt to forget it. BOOOOOO WAVE! Way to embarass the crap out of me!!]

Again, all of these are problems which will clearly be corrected in the next year or so, but I felt like adding my 2 cents. For early adopters, this is not "beta" in the way gmail was - don't bother adding Wave quite yet unless you don't plan on using it for anything actually important. However, if you feel like refreshing your knowledge of Zork3, have fun!

New Fuzzies!

2009-12-11T13:45:00.003-07:00

***Like this post? It's a re-post from my animal-blog, http://chirlababies.blogspot.com***

I finally talked the boyfriend into adding new members to the family - specifically, two gorgeous degu males from a shelter in Alberta Beach. We are technically only fostering them, as the man of the house is terrified of them (because they look a little like rats - though they move, talk, and interact totally differently. They also have more rounded noses like a guinea pig and a tuft at the end of their tails.)

(photo: I had forgotten how loud a room full of parrots can be. NOW I REMEMBER!)

The shelter, Autumn Hollow, takes on mainly parrots but occasionally ends up with some little munchkins like these guys who are desperate for a home. Every local exotic shelter I've spoken to has a few of these guys, as they are quite the hot trend at the moment, and - like other trend pets, chinchillas and sugar gliders chief amongst them - when people get bored of the trend they abandon the poor things to shelters ill equipped to deal with their needs. While Autumn does her best, they have NINE degus up for adoption (in 4 seperate bonded groups). To top things off, she is severely allergic to them and donations have dropped significantly this year. The poor degus have ended up living in the same room as over a dozen raucous parrots - unnerving for the best of us, never mind a tiny, nervous little rodent!

Even if you don't have the time or space to adopt an animal, I STRONGLY encourage you to donate to the rescue. If you can't donate money, they accept Canadian tire dollars, hay, toys, bedding... pretty much anything you can think of. We haven't got much right now - barely enough for our own animals! - but we've offered to foster two boys for the winter (despite the bf's misgivings) and we're hoping to make a donation of supplies for the rest of the degus this Christmas.

(photo: The boys investigate their new home. Sophie's old cage was fixed up for Adora and Queenie, allowing me to adapt the all metal cage they were in for the degus - and thank goodness for it, as the little nommers have already been gnawing at the bars!)

These boys have absolutely won me over! They make chittery sounds much like a guinea pig (but MUCH quieter and far less annoying) but will occasionally commune in tweets that sounds eerily bird-like. Our fosters have clearly been hand tamed, if not hand trained (there is definitely a difference!), and allow me to give them chin and belly skritches when they're in good moods. I haven't yet been able to take proper photos, but I am attaching camera phone shots from the first night of adoption, their giant new cage, and exercise ball time!

(photo: Unlike the chinchillas we rescued, these boys quickly learned that we were not a threat and allowed themselves to be fondled and even held - all on the first night!)

Degus are also from Chile, same as chinchillas, and have very similar needs: a large, tall cage to explore; a constant supply of fresh hay; and a variety of toys to chew, ranging from very soft twigs to hardwood and pumice stone (to stave off boredom and trim teeth, avoiding nasty malocclusions). In fact, they are best fed chinchilla or rabbit pellets, as these contain a high portion of energy-low foods (funnily enough, cavimorphs do better with a low-energy diet, as their gut is designed to process large quantities of poor foods, unlike humans). The only real difference between chinchilla care and degu care is that degus are unable to process any sugars, making them highly susceptible to diatetes (so no raisins, I'm afraid, tho our boys apparently love carrots and corn flakes).

(photo: Omega is seen here on the plastic hutch they came with - plastic is VERY bad for rodents, as if it is accidentally ingested they cannot process it, causing it to block the intestine and kill the poor animal. We give our chinchillas the same type of hutch, as they do not chew it, but the degus love to nom anything in site, so they have now been given a much more appropriate wooden hutch to hide in.)

One major difference between caring for a degu versus a chinchilla is something I did not expect - something not mentioned by the many websites I've read. A degu, tail and all, is about the length of the chinchilla's body, and they are maybe half the height (if that). They also do not jump like chinchillas do, and thus must run or climb to each new level. As a result, while they enjoy the same type of cages, food, and perches, I had to readjust everything in the cage to be closer together, adding ramps to every new perch, as the poor things are too small to reach otherwise. The boys quickly showed me that I was over compensating for their height, by ignoring a ramp I'd placed in favour of climbing the cage walls - even though the space between grips was almost as high as their entire bodies! They also tend to take tumbles while fighting (see below), so I was careful to put enough perches that any falling degu will quickly land on another level, rather than plummeting to his death.

(photo: Omega inspects the clicking camera)

So... Now I have two males happily situated in a large, well arranged cage (only 2 hours after I started! argh). What happens next? They start humping eachother. No, seriously. Degus have a very strong heirarchy of dominance, much like dogs and wolves. The alpha male dominates the smaller male(s), mainly by mounting them - initially, to show that he's bigger/better/badder, but eventually only on occasion to remind the little one who the boss is. Unfortunately, our two males are fairly evenly matched and were a little excited for the big cage, so they fought almost non stop the first night here. The fights were a little more violent than they should have been, making me worry that we might have to seperate them and try to bond them to other males instead, but eventually the smaller one submitted.

Because of their dominance battles, I have decided to call them (at least temporarily) Alpha and Omega. Alpha is the larger, lighter coloured male with fluffier fur (also, being the alpha, he has a poofier tail tuft). Omega is the thinner, darker degu with a pointier nose. In dominance terms, the "alpha" is the lead male while the "omega" is the least dominant (technically, I think our second boy is actually a "beta" male, or an almost-dominant who would take charge were the leader to pass away). The names comes from the tv show Dollhouse, as well - in the show, Alan Tydyk plays "Alpha," a big scary bad guy with brains to spare but more than a little psycho, while Elisha Dusku plays "Echo," a small but tough chick. Where does Omega come into play? Alpha kidnaps Echo and renames her "Omega" in the hopes that she will become his partner in crime. (The reference comes from the bible.) Alpha's character hopes that this woman will become his other half, making him complete.

(photo: I suspect this is Alpha, as he has a more pronounced curve to his nose than Omega. He's also quite a bit large and fuzzier.)

Back to the degus... They are still not sleeping together, which worries me, but it is difficult to rebond new males so we are crossing our fingers that the extra space will limit fighting. Unless they're fighting, the boys are almost silent - they will chitter a little at eachother during their adventures, but the sound is almost inaudible. They are also very quiet, even graceful, while exploring - a noticable contrast to our chinchillas, who thump around their cages so loudly and violently that we can often hear them across the house. They do throw a little bedding out of their cage, but compared to the chinchilla mess the degus are immaculate.

Our two boys, unfortunately, were kept with the dust bath in their cage - this is fine for litter training, but not for bathing. Once a bath is left in a cage long enough, they will use it as a toilet, rendering it useless for bathing. The poor boys are a little messy because of this, but I have not been able to get them to use the now-clean bath or to bath in one of the chinchilla dust baths. They do, however, roll around in the bedding, which makes them even messier and proves that they are, indeed, craving bath time even if they aren't responding to my ministrations yet.

(photo: Omega goes for a run in the giant chinchilla-sized exercise ball. With my bf being so scared of them, and being unfamiliar with their play patterns, I feel it is safer to keep them contained during playtime for now, and this is certainly what they are used to back at the shelter. )

One of my favourite things I was able to add to the cage was a small hammock house we inherited somewhere along the way. Far too small for the chunky chinchillas, the hammock house is basically a cloth box suspended from clips with a small opening in one end and space to walk around on top (hence the hammock part). I introduced them to it the same way I got Sophie to accept her hammock (here is a new toy - play with it and get cuddles!), and they now happily wander in and out. Earlier I caught them both inside, one guarding the entrace while the second spun in circles singing his little heart out - who wouldn't love these boys??

(photo: The hammock house. If it looks dirty, that's because it kind of is - I've wiped it but not laundered it and the colour is a bit grimey. Also, camera phones suck!)

(photo: They also inherited Sophie's unused metal wheel, which they would desperately like to use - however, every time they start running, they end up slipping on the shiny metal! We are planning on buying grip adhesives, such as are used for bathtubs, tonight in the hopes of giving the boys more purchase while they spin)

I would be remiss if I didn't also mention that Sophie seems fine with the new additions - when first brought home, they sat right next to her without issue. Even now, settled across the room from her cage, she seems fine with them (unless I let them play with her things or they get treats before her!).

Xmas List

2009-11-26T01:52:00.002-07:00

It may seem cheap and tacky for an adult to post an xmas list, but the truth is that I don't get many gifts - it would be nice to make the ones I do get practical (ie. wanted). Also, I am so emotionally and physically distant from most of my friends and family that they never know what to get me, so many have asked for this list in past years. The list below ranges from pennies to thousands, but I certainly do not expect to get most of them: they are just a list of things I would love to get. And who knows... once my aunt put "a new roof" on her list and got it! :P Anything is possible during the holidays.

- A subscription to Harper's Bazaar. (I know this seems a little odd, but I've really taken to doing more fashion photography and fashion-style portraiture, and during my online research I've found most of my favourite shots were for this magazine. The result? I want to check it out in RL.) $20

- CF cards over 1gb (not SD cards, CF. They're getting pretty hard to find, but most camera stores still carry them. I prefer sandisk Extreme cards, they're WAY better, but anything will do. Specifically I'd like a new 4gb and an 8gb, but I'm not picky atm!) $10-$400

- Rechargable NiMh Batteries (I need TONNES of these. My favs are Energizer as they are the biggest, but anything will do. Must be sets of 4 --or 8, or 12, etc--) $15+

- New camera with lens (life going the way it has, I haven't been able to afford the upgrade planned last year. Now, with the disappearance of my battery charger and the death of my fav lens, I desperately need a new setup. I want: CANON 7D w/ 15-85 lens ... not the 15-135, that one sucks). $2800 at McBain's

- A collapsable light tent (I have no idea where to find them, but Vala ordered a few I like - ask her, www.bluemagicphotography.ca) Any white box designed for commercial shooting would probably do. $30-$100

- A photo assistant to help me plug through my files and cross check my new dockets. Price: you can't buy people, can you? hmmm... suppose they'll have to volunteer, then.

- A small gold or silver umbrella, preferably both. (These aren't the kind for rain, they're for my flash lighting setup - see any pro camera store for examples). Around $30

- Polar fleece fabric and polyester batting for making chinchilla pillows (a sewing machine would also be nice, but I have a friend who's offered use of hers). $1-$30

- 16x20 black frames from Michael's (these often go on sale to less than $10). Normally: $15. (I need 20+)

- A subscription to National Geographic or National Geographic Canada. Around $30

- A flash development course at NAIT (there are three part time courses I'm interested in) $500 ish each

- A small flashlight for my keychain (I have a particular type in mind, that I've used before - Yves can tell you - but anything cute will do!) $5 ish

- A dehydrator (for making hiking snacks, fruit leather, and chirla treats!) Price: I have no idea! Anyone got one they don't want anymore?

- A large cork board for my "office" wall (prefer framed, but I can frame it myself if needed). $5-$50 Would also happily settle for the whiteboard/corkboard/photo frame at Black's Photography for $30

- A wok (My father uses a brilliant one from London Drugs, apparently. No teflon coating and full width all the way 'round). $40

- A gift certificate for Ricki's. (My boyfriend has been feeding me too well - none of my suits fit properly anymore! And they're all at least 3 years out of date...) $30+

- A trip to Toronto to see my family! I miss them! $450 for the flight

- Fancy lingerie! (I know it sounds dirty, I just figured I'd get more attention with that than "bras and undies," and I need something to re-attract your attention this far down the list. Truth is, I haven't been shopping in well over a year for anything, practical or otherwise, and, now that there's someone in my life to notice all the holes, I'm thinking its time for a revamp. This title makes me laugh extra because I don't actually own any lingerie - tho I do have one outfit somewhere in a prop bag, I think. bra: 34B, undies: large) $15+

____

For a mailing address, contact me at froghaven@gmail.com

To donate money for a product not in your area, or to donate part of the cost of an item, contact me at froghaven@gmail.com as well - I can accept online transactions.

This particular blog is intended for friends and family, but I know I have a lot of fans checking this site as well ... so, well, if you're feeling generous, send me a present! If you're lucky, you'll even get a print back in return.

Forever and an Age

2009-11-24T22:54:00.003-07:00

Well, it's been over a month since my last update. What have I been doing? Nothing.

Well, that's not quite true. I've been cleaning up after two never-housetrained men (I'd call them boys, but 27 and 34 aren't the ages of children...), learning to cook traditional meals (this week: stew and chili in a slow cooker!), and recovering from various illnesses (well, nothing new there). Illnesses? Throat infection, lost my voice entirely for days and had to write every comment down. Yes, yuck it up - to be honest, it was hilarious watching someone who talks as much as I do trying to cope with the silence, especially since we were in Vancouver.

Why Vancouver, you ask? Well, remember that charming young metalhead featured this summer? The one who likes to call himself my boyfriend? Ok ok... the one who IS my boyfriend. That poor man was stood up for a Mexican holiday and - still having the vacation booked and money for a flight - decided to take me to Vancouver to see two of my best friends, rather than sit alone on a sandy beach. Personally, I think he's a fool for making that choice, but I love him even more for it. So, we arrived for a weekend surprise visit with Ms. November, Danica, and had a great time hanging out with her and her significant other, the incomparable Krishna.

Danica has been going through a similar transition period to my own, which she has been dutifully tracking on her own blog at http://somethingprecious.blogspot.com/ . I find her blog pretty durn interesting, especially since she is studying interior design and often posts links/info. She also tends to post when she gets acting work - including a stint on my favourite show, Psych!, slated to air this january and 14hrs of shooting for Caprica yesterday :) You never know, might be worth the visit...

On top of a weekend with near-strangers, poor Yves had to endure MEETING THE PARENTS. I know, you'd think hippie parents wouldn't be as intimidating to meet, but in all honesty I believe it's harder - you never quite know if they're going to conform to societal norms. The dear man charmed them as best he could, and as a result we are OFFICIALLY LIVING TOGETHER. Yes, I realize I moved in 4 months ago. And that 90% of my time or more was spent at his place for a month before that. The important part to note here is the "official" tag - we have made public our commitment to eachother. Including telling my parents and grandparents.

(photo: Yves meets the parents - apparently everyone decides "crazy" is a better look than "omg omg omg")

Why take the commitment risk when it's hurt me so badly in the past? Well, because he's a big stinky French sweetheart, that's why. I could not ask for a more loving or devoted partner, and I look forward to many, many more months of domestic bliss. Hopefully, more blissful (and sans roommate) than the last 2, but que sera sera!

What else is going on? Well, I'm starting sessions for SketcH, a mixed media project featuring blends of my photographs with the artwork of traditional, digital and graphic artists. After Denby and I collaborated on the infamous "Fiona with Wings" last year, I've wanted to expand the project into a larger show collection, and hopefully we will start to see final projects in the new year.

The job search is still.. alright, let's be honest. After being rejected for RETAIL WORK at every store in Kingsway Mall, my ego took a bit of a blow. A big blow. I got rejected for a part time sales job at a store half the size of the clothing department I used to manage. Economy, economy, blah blah blah - I don't care how bad things are out there, I've been working for almost 20years. I have excellent sales and management experience, and I have nothing but rave reviews from previous employers in my professional work. So why can't I even get an $8/hr mall job that they give to retard 10th graders? (provided they can fill out a D-cup, of course). ARGH.

Needless to say, my job hunting took a bit of a detour after that. But for now I am working on my design portfolio and praying for a miracle. Anyone hiring?

Hallowe'en Special Effect!

2009-10-13T02:19:00.002-06:00

Here's a little Hallowe'en how-to for anyone interested:
How to sculpt a severed finger!

This is about a 3min project and requires the use of some sort of sculpting clay. I recommend "super sculpy" as it is cheap, easy to find, and flesh toned, but any type of sculpy or femo will work, as will plastercine or clay. Sculpy is particularly nice because, once you fire it, you can paint it!

(photos: Examples of the final product... Not my best sculpture, but made in less than 3 minutes and during a conversation!)

Step one: Warm a chunk of clay in your hands. You should massage it until it is easily manipulated. The piece should be roughly half again the size of your real finger, up to twice the size (unless you want a novelty sized finger at the end!).

Step two: Roll the clay into a vaguely finger-shaped tube and insert your middle finger into one end, until about halfway up. To insert your finger, you will need to hold the clay in your other hand and squish it on. This is good! because....

(photo: Note the texture in the clay. This is transferred from the skin of your hand as you squeeze.)

Step three: using your non-clay-covered hand, encircle the clay with your palm at the bottom and fingers on top. Squish the clay firmly, imprinting it with the pattern of your skin, and press your fingers down to make dibs and bumps for the knuckles.

(photo: Note the bubbles left by the spaces between your fingers - these are good, as they add realism! Try to get them near where the knuckle would be to give the appearance of arthritis.)

Step four: Using your finger nail, create a dent where the crease between finger nail and flesh should be. Smooth the resulting line until it looks more natural. Now, put your finger against the front of the finger and press back, pushing the flesh of the clay finger back but leaving a small amount at the top for the nail.

(photo: Note the indent below the "nail" and the smoothness of the indent forming the nail on top. The difference in colour at the tip of the nail is caused by the flash on the camera, as the clay in thinner there and let light through, and is not an effect added later).)

Step five: Using your nail, make 3 (or so) creases where the knuckles should be. Smooth the lines with your finger afterwards.

(photo: Note the knuckle creases - in the photo, these are placed a little too high, as the creases should be along the bump of the knuckle.)

Step six: Pull the fake finger off of your own finger. You now need to decide how you are going to use it... If you want to attach it to something (as in, have it stick up out of an object), take the rough edges that surrounded your finger and fold them back. These will now stick to many surfaces, but depending on the weight and type of clay it may not work. Otherwise, fold them inside the hollow part of the finger and create a SEVERED look - paint red blood for extra realism!

(photos: The final finger, with the rough edges used to support it as it sticks out of an object in the house... Is it a ghost? Is "Thing" missing a digit? Who knows!)

Still Not Falling For Your Charm, Obama!

2009-10-10T02:11:00.001-06:00

Regular readers of this blog will know that I've never been behind Obama. He is a brilliant speaker, and a master of charisma, but nothing more. SO... Imagine my shock to read today that Obama won the f-ing Nobel Peace Prize. SERIOUSLY??? Do you just give these out with every 1 billion youtube hits? (Hey, he killed a fly, man. That was cool. AND called Kanye a jackass. Respect!)

I'm dead serious about the award, though I wish it were only a joke: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33237202/ns/politics-white_house?GT1=43001

While the Nobel committee (apparently high as kites on Obama's manly charisma) fall deeper under his spell, it seems some Americans are finally becoming wise to the charade being played out in office. (Hey, at least Wubya never pretended to be smart!) A recent SNL sketch pretty much sums up my opinion of Obama's presidential acts so far: JACK SQUAT.

This article on the peace prize also makes a fairly obvious point about needing to EARN the damn thing!

Seriously... The UN is nothing more than a fancy aid charity, the Pullitzer is given to anyone willing to swear or face gunfire, and now the Nobel is given to someone just for being handsome and charming. Is there anything left to aspire to??

October Already?

2009-10-08T18:00:00.003-06:00

So, where have I been?

As previously stated, my life has been very up in the air, and the only point of stability in my world right now has been my loving and supportive boyfriend. After my place was robbed (luckily, none of my stuff was taken!), Yves asked me to move in with him... a hard enough proposition for a long term couple, never mind a commitmentphobe 6 weeks in to her first real relationship in years. Through his patience and support, however, I have come to adjust to living together, and love having the constant attention/warmth at my disposal.

(photo: My messy, half naked boyfriend judges me and my photo obsession. I'm actually surprised that's facebook - and not WoW - on the computer screen!)

Recently, a good friend of his has fallen on hard times and Yves has given him my basement office to live in while he gets back on my feet. Do I love Yves for being so caring and giving? yes. Do I like the new roommate? yes. Do I like having to work in a public space instead of having my own wonderfully neat and private room to work in? not so much.

We also have two more additions to the family... two fuzzy little misfits named Adora and Queenie. With the huge demand for chinchilla pics and stories I've received over facebook, I decided to make a blog for our three babies, which I've just launched at http://chirlababies.blogspot.com/

(photo: Adora and Queen B investigate the camera which is invading their cage!)

I'm still looking for part time work, and it kills me to be so reliant on my beau, but Yves has been amazing through this very tumultuous summer and has made every effort to make me as happy and comfortable as possible. He also feeds me. May possibly be the perfect man. He must have impressed me, as I've even introduced him to my Opa! (He is the only boyfriend other than James that I've introduced to him... and the only other one I've lived with, technically. Funny coincidence that!)

Today we woke to the first snow of the season. :( My knuckles may ache and my feet may be whining about the necessity of socks/shoes instead of sandals, but I'm trying to stay positive about this inevitable part of winter in Edmonton. Suddenly, BC doesn't seem so bad... ;)

(photo: View of our snowy backyard - from the patio, because I hate shoes!)

(photo: poor, snowy chair... how lonely you will be this winter, with no one to love you until spring!)

(photo: Snow on the neighbours' trees and brick spit... purdy but depressing)

(photo: The recycle Yves promised to take to the depot two months ago :P Now, it's art!)

No News is Good News?

2009-08-23T18:57:00.002-06:00

Well, it's been forever since I've updated... Or done anything, frankly. The new boyfriend has been manipulating all of my time, and I've been happy to provide it. Somehow he seems to be convincing me I'd enjoy being a housewife, and so far it's not as scary as my ultra-feminist friends and family would have had me believe... But perhaps that's because I don't feel I will lose the love and respect of my man or my community if I don't keep the house spotless ;)

In all honesty, things have been pretty bad - still no work, though I haven't been looking nearly as much as I should - and only a handful of shoots (to be posted soon). Our place was robbed a few weeks ago (luckily they missed my camera gear!) but as a result the leaseholder decided to move out, kicking myself and the new roommate out in the process.

Despite spending so much of my time playing house with the new boytoy, I'm still the same commitment-phobe, so rather than move in with him, I am heading off to Blue Magic Studios and bunking down in the Red Room for a few weeks while I figure things out. Big thanks to Vala of BM for taking me in!

So ... That's the word from Lila's world. No money, no work, nothing interesting, lots of love, and a big move this week to the room across the hall from where I like to shoot :P Could be worse!

Pics!

2009-07-29T20:48:00.011-06:00

In June, I had the pleasure of visiting one of my favourite people and his wonderful wife-to-be back in Banff. Amongst all the good times with them and their friends, I managed to get out to Tunnel Mountain with my camera and finally got down to the "secret beach" at the Bow Falls to take pictures. The images are available on facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=107139&id=557616550&l=b06296d98f

Updates are for Losers

2009-07-23T21:52:00.006-06:00

As regular visitors may have noticed, I've been a bit lax on updates lately. In fact, I've only just switched June's photo to July today (a week before the month ends). Why?

Well, there's a couple reason, chief amongst them that not much has been happening. In my life, in the world, in general. I haven't watched anything particularly exciting, haven't done anything exciting, and haven't thought anything exciting.

Part of this can definitely be attributed to the 3o degree heat and the awful conditions I have to work in (days in my room are pure torture, as my room gets almost no airflow and heats up to about 36+ degrees - my computer screen becomes useless with the sunlight, too).

The rest has been general malaise and depression. Shocking, I know, but in truth I've actually been doing way better lately - going out with friends, taking a few photos, remembering to live my life. Just not.... working. Or changing. Or growing in any way. Which, needless to say, sucks.

Now the good news: that's been changing lately. I've been feeling more myself than ever. I've been stretching my understanding of who I am, changing and evolving... Why? Because I'm dating a metalhead. (I'm pretty sure he means that to refer to his love of metal music, but his head IS full of metal). 5 tattoos, at least as many piercings, and a personality that's brought me back to the world of dating after a 7 month hiatus - my parents are "ecstatic." :P

Truth is, I'm happy to be playing the new relationship game again, and work has fallen even more to the wayside because of it. Want to see who has been keeping me so off track? Check out Mr. July in the top corner of the blog or check him out below:

The MJ Debacle

2009-07-02T20:55:00.003-06:00

It's never been much of a secret, but ever since I wore out my single of "Black and White" from constant listening (oh, tapes, how I miss thee), I've been a fan of Michael Jackson. He was messed up, he behaved like a jerk publicly more times than I can count, but my god did the man know music.

He is - and always will be - the King of Pop, the Elvis of my generation, and I would expect no less from a man who completely reshaped the world's views of black music, pop music, and music videos. He was there for the birth of pop. He was a massive part of the growth of black music, the strength of Motown, and the craziest damn musician I've ever listened to for 5hrs straight. (With the possible exception of Pink Floyd).

There are a lot of people who hated him, who judged his personal life very harshly. To them, I say - how f-ing messed up would YOU be, growing up like he did? No privacy, insane pressure, even more insane family... Its a miracle he lived to the ripe old age of 50. Maybe he was a total psycho. Maybe the media blew his indiscretions out of proportion .... In all honesty, I don't care. What I care about is what he did as a musician, and that can never be taken away.

It is said he was at least 500 million in debt at the time of his death, with assets of around twice that. I hope that the world will do what it always does when it loses a great artist - remember that greatness and make them even more famous in death, and double that number. The media attention is frustrating, sickening even: for me, it brings to mind the mall-maulings he suffered for so long, the media circus surrounding his legal problems. Those are the things we want to forget.

But the media frenzy surrounding his death is fitting - more than fitting. Not just because he was a giant in an industry full of sheep. Not just because I can name over two dozen tracks with him currently on my MP3 player. And not just because 2/3rds of his body was fake... The media circus makes sense because Jackson would have loved it. That's all he ever really wanted: to be beautiful, to be great, and to be loved. Don't we all?

Here's hoping you found that peace you were seeking, Michael. And... "don't stop till you get enough."

((For those who are wondering, If you wanna be my lover it STILL don't matter if you're black or white!))

--

In response to MJ's death last week, I am re-posting a blog from sept 6, 2006. It was originally posted on MySpace as a bit of a joke for my current roommates and contains some serious exagerations (he was not a drug dealer, it was only ONCE while we made out, and I strongly doubt the downstairs partiers had porn - or, if they did, that they would have watched it with all the girls present). However, those exagerations are there to make a point and thus I have left them. Over all, this post contains my ever-famous semi-sarcastic wit: ironic sarcasm surrounding an ultimate truth which, despite appearances, I do truly believe in. I'm just sorry the King of Pop never got to enjoy the revival of interest in his music, and you'd better believe I would have had tickets for that comeback tour!
---

The Love Which Dare Not Speak It's Name

Current mood: grateful

For years I've kept my horrible secret, terrified that some day the truth might be discovered. I practised my disgusting habit under cover of darkness - my forbidden love...

But now I've decided to finally let the truth be known. I stand before the world and proudly cry:
"Mom, Dad... I'm a Michael Jackson fan!"

OK, so maybe "fan" is a bit intense. But I do love his music. And I'm no longer afraid to admit it.

Growing up in the 90's was trying for us MJ lovers... Every few years new scandals surrounding the Peter Pan complex of the King of Pop were paraded through the public eye and while the adults may have forgotten (time and again, it seems), those of us listening to his music never forgot the accusations. It doesn't matter that I love the music and not the man -or his behaviour - because some people refuse to see the whole picture and instead insist on remembering only the negative.

Look, the guy got way too famous way too fast and went nuts. Deal with it. Hell, Trump's twice as crazy and they gave him a goddamn TV show! And don't get me started on Martha Stewart... I still have nightmares about arrugula.

So it's not about the man, it's about the music. And anyone who listens to pop knows -- he's the king for a reason. Hell, he made zombies seem sexy. Not just cool - sexy. Now that's impressive! But if his music is so good, why have I kept my dirty little secret for so long?

Because the man is a loon. Yet, as my roommate so eloquently stated earlier this evening: "Hey, Tom Cruise is a total fucking wack job, but I still enjoyed his last movie!" (His point - poetry. His taste in movies - questionable).

Despite the fact that my generation grew up with MJ, we were not able to admit to liking his music without being accused of supporting pedophelia. I liked "Black and White" not Bubbles the monkey! Come on, people. Yet you would invariably catch heads bouncing to the beat whenever an MJ hit was played at a school dance. Enter denial: if one pretended not to know the musician, it was okay to bop along with the tune. Especially if it were a really catchy one, like Billy Jean, so long as no one mentioned the king. If someone were foolish enough to actually utter those dreaded words, instantly we were forced to renounce our previous enjoyment of the tune and tear down the King for the next hour.

One dared not speak his name, except negatively, for fear of severe social consequences. Listening to his music on your own time was strictly forbidden. So for the end of the 90s, MJ went underground. Well, except for that brilliant episode of The Simpson's, which made him cool again for a brief moment. Until the baby dangling incident and those 'loving support' messages from his close -and terribly young- friends Aaron Carter and Macaulay Culkin, of course.

So what has changed? Well, for starters, the general public has a very short attention span. I'll bet you 3 out of 5 people on the street now think OJ was proven guilty (and the other two will say "OJ who?"). So with time comes forgiveness, I suppose, and we were once again willing to let MJ back into our hearts. Along comes "13 going on 30," an early 00's movie about a girl who brings the joys of Thriller (the song, not the movie, but definately the dance) to the music-starved masses of the modern day. Then came Justin Timberlake's infamous Smooth Criminal remake, (all the pop with half the fun!) just as the young singer's own career was really beginning to take off. There were other cultural events, timelines, and social posturing, but basically Michael Jackson, slowly but surely, became a part of pop culture once again ... And with pop culture comes cool.

It wasn't the release of the shockingly funny "13 Going on 30" which clued me in to the renaissance of the King of Pop movement. Nor was it the feminine yelps in Timberlake's smash radio hit (--anyone know why it's called smash radio? anyone?). Even the recent MJ-heavy playlists at local clubs weren't enough to convince me it was time to reveal my terrible secret.

No, what finally convinced me the King had returned were my roommates. Half a dozen 20-something guys drinking and partying with porn, junk food, and... MJ's Greatest Hits? If you'd told me 10 years ago (hell, even 5 years ago!) that I would find my country-bred, old school, good ol' boy classmates partying down to "Thriller" at two in the morning, I would have laughed in your face.

At least now I'm not quite as embarrassed about that torrid love affair with the drug dealer who played "Billy Jean" every time we made out. Or the tape of "Black and White" (the single!) which I actually destroyed with over-listening back in Kindergarten....

Peace, my MJ-loving brothers. Our time is now. -L

June Photo of the Month

2009-06-09T23:26:00.005-06:00

The newest addition to the Photo of the Month Club is a specialty editing project completed for ex-Con Boland assistant and all round great gal, Iman. The photo exhibits our new Oil Painting special effect and the Dark Sepia Toning Effect made so popular by "Fiona With Guitar" in 2005. Look for amazing new pricing on these and other basic special effects with the launch of the new FrogHaven site in just a few short days!

Can't believe it's finally out after 7 months of promising? Well, you're right. The full site has grown so massive that I have not yet been able to complete it. However, a preliminary site with the basics will be launched by the end of the month. The full 40+ page site will be completed not long afterwards.

Really. I promise!

While you're waiting, take a moment to look at the full screen version of this incredibly new portrait by clicking on the image to your left, or by visiting: http://www.slide.com/r/gCthlTt_zz-R8LJHBN0lpyD-x44Pzqtm?previous_view=PIC_TICKER&previous_action=TICKER_ITEM_CLICK&ciid=576460752350592677

Iman, May '08, with Oil-Painting Special Editing and Dark Sepia Toning

Pessimism means never being disappointed

2009-06-08T18:30:00.007-06:00

Perhaps it's the massive amounts of the tv show "House" that I've been watching this week, but I'm finding myself abandoning my normal realist viewpoint and becoming more and more cynical.

The nice thing about being a cynic? People never disappoint you.

Now, if you've been reading along you already know that I have never been a fan of Obama... I don't have any major issues with him, really, and he says a lot of good things. But there's the problem - he SAYS a lot of good things.

I was a Hilary supporter. Why? Not because of the lady herself - she scares the crap out of me. It's fairly obvious that she was the power behind the throne when Bill Clinton was in control of the free world - though how much power she really had or used is debatable. She used her husband's charisma to put her into a position of power and, once the world was ready for a female to take that power, she made a move to get that power for herself. Calculating? yes. Immoral? maybe. Effective? should have been.

So why does she scare me, if not because of her obvious lust for power? Because she reminds me of my grandfather's new wife. Not just the haircut and the pinched, judgmental lips but the old world politics, the world of absolutes and church every Sunday. On a personal level, I doubt I could stand to say 10 words to the woman - but her politics? That's something else entirely.

Let's start with my own politics. My family is quite ashamed of me for my beliefs - the hippies and 'conservatives' alike. So why the sarcastic marking on 'conservatives?' One uber-conservative family member -and you can't make this stuff up- actually told me that he wants them to "restart the KKK but this time kill the gays, too." It's the closest I've ever come to wanting to brawl with a relative. Obviously, those opinions - so extreme, so biased, so BIGOTED, are nothing like my own. Living in the REAL WORLD (a place where gays and blacks are a vibrant and neccessary part of our country and culture!), I obviously cannot share in those beliefs. The fact that I tend to date both blacks AND lesbians also tends to bias me. And yet these viewpoints are normally categorized as 'conservative.' That is not the definition of conservative - or at least, it should not be.

Technically, a conservative viewpoint means a respect for tradition, interest in maintaining the status quo. Somehow the bigoted, biased opinions which were more socially acceptable in the past have been mixed in with a word supposedly representing only a respect for traditional techniques. And perhaps that is correct - after all, we cannot study history without also studying the horrors of socially acceptable bigotry, racism... even ethnic cleansing.

But that is not the type of conservative I am, and I doubt greatly it is the type of conservative most Canadians are. I like a lot of the ideas of the NDP, but I feel the conservative's terror of their free-spending, no-future world view. I don't think NDP in power would bankrupt the country... but it might. Certainly their overall theories are too utopian to ever work in the real world: Utopia means 'nowhere' after all. The Liberals of our country are a bigger joke - neither liberal nor conservative, they play both sides to the middle in the hopes of advancing themselves without any thought to the country and it's people. (But then, I might be a bit biased in that opinion.)

I call myself a Neo-conservative - I respect the traditional policies, a balanced budget AND social programs. I feel that the traditional way of life (and politics) merely needs to be updated: that accepting all races, genders, and sexual preferences should simply be a part of the accepted norm. Our thinking needs to keep up, yes, but that doesn't mean abandoning systems that work. That doesn't mean supporting cities and forgetting all the farmer's feeding and clothing us. It doesn't mean selling our country's very soul to the American's for a cheap buck. It means THINKING ABOUT CONSEQUENCES and not making easy or knee-jerk decisions.

But I digress. What does all this have to do with Hilary Clinton? Well, behind the veil of female-vs-black politics that we were so inundated with during their battle, Barack and Hilary actually debated issues. Believe it or not, all those speeches, debates, Q+A periods - they all revealed aspects of the candidates' personalities and politics.

Back in our tiny little riding in somewhere-far-away-northern-alberta, we had a political debate at our school with all of the local candidates. The conservative incumbent was a fat pig, your absolutely stereotypical politician - slimy, silver tongued, and in it for the perceived power. The liberal candidate was a joke - never expressed a single opinion the entire time, just looked confused and trashed the other candidates whenever he could. The NDP candidate, one of the youngest ever in Alberta, was prepared for everything - he'd studied the issues, offered options, discussed variant viewpoints. In short, the kid knew what he was talking about. I recall writing in my notebook, "too young to respect, but at least he's trying." The incumbent, in comparison, despite having dealt with the issues already, seemed to have no solid opinion on anything. He would misdirect, offer platitudes, and sneak past every question without offering any solid promises or facts. When asked about two-tiered healthcare, for instance, he began telling a story about going to Africa with his wife to care for AIDs orphans. Classic politics.

Watching Obama was like watching that greasy middle-aged white man. And I don't say that just because I personally feel Obama is one of the whitest black men I've ever seen (his wife, however, is a classic black stereotype and seems proud of it). When faced with difficult issues or questions, Obama rarely offered strong opinions or real options, but relied on silky-smooth rhetoric to convince people he'd said something of importance. The real solutions or opinions he DID offer were public-pleasing, pre-packaged crap.

He offered polite, well-written platitudes. Hilary offered options. She did not shy away from the reality of a situation, nor claim knowledge of something she did not understand. She was brutally realistic - a realism one only achieves after a lifetime of dealing with real issues in a very real way. Obama, on the other hand, built his meteoric rise upon a foundation of charisma and confidence - important qualities, yes, but I'm much more confident putting my trust in someone relying upon hardwork and understanding of their own limitations. Call me old fashioned.

But I've said this all before, in a variety of ways, throughout the battle for presidency and since Obama has taken control. So what has made me return to this rant? Is it Obama's insistance in following in the idiot footprints of his predecessor overseas? Is it the recent economic meltdown? (That last one always makes me laugh - like Obama's short reign could have had any real effect on a banking issue which has been building for more than a decade. Much more likely that Wubya's idiotic insistance on deregulation had a greater role).

Suffice to say that, despite my normally realist view of the world, I've always had a cynical view of the Great Beige Hope. Watching his shark of a wife eating up their success terrifies me on a personal level, sure, but doesn't put the country at any more risk. His foreign policy may not be making the changes he'd promised, but they are not enough to bring my blood to the boiling point. And yes, he bowed to an evil tyrrant, but just because he's not as bright as he tries to seem doesn't prove my cynicism is justified.

What really erks me is his biography. Now, we're all aware that American ex-presidents like to make a solid post-presidency income by hocking their life story (Hey, didn't they make a movie about that? Oh right, it was called "My Fellow Americans"). They go on book tours, do radio shows, and try to relive their glory days. What most of them do not do is publish said biography while working towards getting elected.

Yes, the American public is hungry for change, for hope, and Obama's story holds all of that (supposedly). Yes, the book publishers must have been all over him. And certainly it was written by a ghost writer. These are given. But it's the whole idea which angers me. Fighting to become the leader of the free world, fighting to save America from itself -- these are things which should take all of your time and attention! Or am I alone in thinking that? I wouldn't want my doctor trying to sell me a rolex while discussing my surgery. Similarly, I don't expect someone attempting to take the most important post in North American politics to be signing autographs and doing book readings!

So why my rant now? "The Audacity of Hope" was published in 2006 (awesome title, by the way). Why all the angst about it today?

I've been pissed about the whole concept for ages, but never to the point of a rant. I accepted Clinton playing his sax while president, despite knowing how many hours of practise are required to keep playing, because I accepted that the president is human: they need hobbies, stress relief just like the rest of us. (In fact, that's why I never gave a crap about Lewinksi either, but that's neither here nor there). Initially, I tried to categorize Barack's book in the same way - a hobby. I tried not to imagine him at a book signing when the next plane crashes into our cultural landscape.

But today I could no longer ignore the fact that, like all big-name authors, Barack Obama must be spending inordinate amounts of time supporting the sales of his books. Why? Because Facebook wouldn't let me.

Logging in to my account, I glanced at the constantly changing column of ads it always displays, only to see the president's smiling face with the caption "Barack read by Barack." That's right - he made a book-on-tape of his own novel. WHILE president.

My fuse is blown. All my realism has leaked out. I'm giving in to the lure of cynicism - because at least then, nothing can disappoint you. Presidents pimping themselves for tasty book contracts becomes a comforting thought, when you're a cynic - it proves the rightness of your view of the world. And right now, I'd rather be comforted than the realist perspective... which is much, much more terrifying.

Ah well. We already knew the president was only a figurehead.

My Father the LOLcat

2009-05-29T21:47:00.003-06:00

Just before I left BC, my father and I headed up island to the "Potholes" campsite. We discovered it was closed, but snuck in anyway... Only to be kicked out the next day. However, they didn't discover our intrusion until I had taken almost a thousand beautiful pictures. None of which you get to see of course.

And now, embarrassing photos of my father with LOLcat-style text!
(click on it to see the images larger)

Internet Dating

2009-05-15T02:32:00.004-06:00

OK, readers - you may or may not know that I participate in the "wonderful" world of online dating.

That is to say, I have a few accounts and occasionally check my sanity at the door and visit them.

A few years ago, I ended up meeting a number of people from one dating site: stories I'm sure all of my RL friends are already sick of. Highlights? The guy who realized he was too ugly for me (I wasn't too pretty for him - he was just ugly. Trust me, I got that statement right), so he decided to 'subtly' insult me throughout the conversation, assuming (of course) that anyone so good looking could not possibly have a brain. He also wore cut off jeans and a ripped t-shirt on the date... wouldn't leave... I could rant for hours. Another favourite? Guy who didn't realise I was looking for a relationship. "I thought we were just hanging out, as friends!" (Cuz I need a dating site for that, obviously).

However, there were a few quite nice guys I ended up staying relatively friendly with, though no-one worthy of truly dating.

As anyone in my RL life will attest, I definitely have a 'type.' After a rather unique relationship last year, I decided perhaps that 'type' was limiting me, keeping me from finding the relationship I really wanted/needed. While I have no trouble finding dates the normal way, I liked online dating because it removed a lot of the factors I normally select for, forcing me to concider people I would normally dismiss out of hand - an excellent way to try to stay open minded in the relationship hunt. So, I decided to try online dating again.

In fact, I even decided to try the much-touted E-harmony this time. Apparently it's "29 degrees of compatibility" have determined that I should only date Indian or Asian men, which I think is a little weird, but I let that pass. And hillbillies, but I figure that's mostly due to my location. Suffice to say that the matches so far (less than a week into the process) have been ... err, interesting.

I should start by saying that there have been a number of lovely men, people who put a great deal of time and effort into their profiles. People with real jobs, actual vocabularies, and the ability to use spellcheckers. They were not, however, in the majority.

LILA'S LIST OF 5 THINGS NEVER TO PUT ON YOUR E-HARMONY PROFILE:

5) Things I can't live without - "My Truck" (WTF??)
4) Things I'm passionate about - "My Truck" (no, seriously - and often 4 and 5 are listed together!)
3) Things I'm most thankful for: "I HAVE LOTS OF INITIATIVES" (erm... Alert the vampire slayer? Hopefully after she defeats your Initiatives, she can turn off caps lock for you.)
2) Things I'm most thankful for: "all the suport i hev reseaved." (Apparently, a little too much - maybe if they'd tried teaching you instead, you might have actually learned some rudimentary English!)

and, the number one most ridiculous choice for a profile statement (keep in mind these are all REAL statements made by my matches):

1) Things I'm most thankful for: "My Humility" (this one even caught me off guard. Luckily, he is looking for a girl with humility, too! They should make a great pair)

Number 2 was not unique in the complete lack of anything even vaguely like proper spelling, however I felt it succinctly summed up the average match's lack of proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. (I honestly had no idea what some of them were trying to say - perhaps a 12yr old texting addict could translate for me).

There was also a guy who -my hand to god- looked exactly like a white trash version of Shrek, but I suppose there wasn't much he could do about that. No, I take that back. Shrek was sexier. And cleaner.

OK OK! I really shouldn't be so mean... After all, these are people, too! They're lonely and searching for love, just like me. I should be more sympathetic. But seriously, what do you do when the first line on a guy's profile is:

What are you most passionate about?
"food i take food before gold it feels me up lol i do like music and the out doors "

erm...
I'm not sure how to respond to that. I'm glad you've found someone to be passionate about, even if that 'someone' feeling you up is food. And apparently food has taken the place of gold?? All I can envision is this fat pasty guy with an erection rolling around in a pile of food and gold coins.

But wait! He also loves "out doors." The doors leading inwards (ie. "in doors") will be so upset to have missed their chance with him.

On second inspection, I've discovered he's Hispanic. No sympathy for the guy, now - it's bad enough that Hispanics are stereotyped as all talking like Speedy Gonzalez, did you really have to start TYPING like that, too? "It feels me up guuut!" (Seriously, picture the little Mexican hat as you read that. I guarantee you will at least chuckle!)

aaaarrrrggggghhhhhh

E-town

2009-05-14T19:28:00.003-06:00

OK, so I'm finally back in Edmonton and vaguely settled in the new place. It's a little further east than I'd thought (20blocks or so), and a little ghetto but the new roommate is pretty cool and I'm making a go of it.

I caught a cold during the move (no not swine flu!!), but I seem to be almost recovered now - Steve can't say the same yet, unfortunately. As a result I've been sorely lacking in the "catching up" part of the move back, but I'm finishing up some small projects and making sure everything's at least out and proofed for now. Most of my time has been spent cleaning the new place, honestly - I haven't even unpacked most of my stuff yet. On the plus side, we now know what colour the carpet used to be!

I'm taking design and photo jobs for the rest of the month, so hit me up. The weather's finally cleared, so I'd love to do some outdoors shoots if anyone is interested. The new site is slowly but surely coming along as well -- despite the shocking number of delays, it will be out by the end of May (or at least, MOST of it will, since the new design has the site going from 6 pages to almost 40).

I'm planning to build connections with more local MUAs, models, and photographers - currently, I'm working on plans for an informal shooting group to network AND take some lovely photos all at the same time. Stay tuned.

Vibrantwalls.com? Yes, I know I've been promising - there will be at least 25 new images by the end of the month. Fingers crossed. I will also be relaunching my gallery of prints for sale through my american lab (sorry canadian lab, your deal just wasn't quite as sweet), so you will be able to buy everything from 4x6s to 46-inchers once the new site is launched. Exciting, isn't it?

Overall I'm excited to be back in Edmonton, hating the cold, and trying to psych myself up for the challenges ahead. Forward Ho!

STRESS!

2009-04-25T20:57:00.003-06:00

In the middle of packing up everything I own, I insanely decided to take on more work in Vancouver next week. I'm still behind on the shoots from February, not to mention a couple orders from CHRISTMAS, but I'm taking on more work. Why? Because I'm insane. It also means I will need a place for the MUAs to work, and that is waaaayyy harder than it sounds. A few extra hours shooting may require hundreds of dollars and dozens of extra computer hours.

But it WILL be fun!

I've managed to get rid of three 70L totes worth of stuff so far - two totes worth are heading to my parents place. I told mom to come "shop at my place" tonight. (Yes Danica, yet another person has managed to outfit themselves for class without putting a dent in my stationary supplies).

Everything is lying in piles around me, I have a splitting headache, Home Depot is completely out of bins, and to top it off I may have cost a model a casting! :( Lila = fail.

I did get some great shots of Mt Doug flowers yesterday (blog post to come next week), attended Louise's birthday party (yay!), and made some more progress in defeating my OCD need to collect 6 of everything. But there is still a lot of work to be done, I haven't eaten (anything other than sugar and tea) in 8 hours, and I just promised to do my best to get prints out tomorrow.

Note to self: get regular job, stop moving, and don't take on TFP orders in the midst of exams and moving!!!

Money, Stress, Money, Stress

2009-04-21T22:10:00.003-06:00

Want to guess the theme of this post?

You got it - MOVING! I'm out of the university residence on Sunday, then off to Vancouver on the 1rst, then E-town for (probably) the 4th or 5th. (That part depends on how quickly Danica gets sick of me, and what time the bus leaves Van).

So, with all this turmoil in my life, what do I decide to do? Oh, a little thing called - A COOKBOOK. Yes, I had 8 months to shoot this project and I left it to the last two weeks. But really that's not my fault. I blame the economy. (Why not, everyone else does it!) The truth is, my mother and I have been working on recipes all winter but didn't get around to actually shooting until today. While sessions went okay (considering my lack of a proper food stylist and my habit of munching on the props), I'm frustrated to have had to cram such intense sessions into short periods of time between editing portraits from Vancouver models and packing everything I own into rubbermaid totes.

The name of the game this month is: RE-INVENTION. I am re-inventing my websites (FH has a mockup 90% done and an org chart - which means you may even see the final results before I head back to Alberta! If we're lucky). I'm re-inventing my company (after 2 years on the sidelines, it's nice to be back in the photo game, though I am working towards a great deal more design and writing projects than I initially envisioned - and that's alright by me). I'm re-inventing my entire shooting system (a couple grand later, and I finally have a portable studio which fits on my back! It's not only practical and awesome, but also much more reliable than those all-too-breakable hotlights that previously served my on location needs). And finally, I am re-inventing myself (hopefully, into a more reliable and slightly sexier version of the original - with better hair).

The truth is, moving ALWAYS mean reinventing yourself. If you do it right, of course. I can't take everything home with me, which means deciding what stays and what goes - and what I simply can't afford to put on a greyhound bus. The result is, ideally, simplification: a minimalization of the millions of things we rely on to tell us who we are. Suits? Stay! VHS? Who knows. High-three-digits worth of scrapbooking supplies and OCD-organized empty folders, folios, and notebooks? You can have them when you pry them from my cold, dead hands!

Packing my winter jackets this weekend, I found myself wanting to throw them all in the "donate" bin. A year without real winter has changed me, and I'm finding myself strangely drawn to the idea of being able to walk around 9 months of the year without a knee-length down jacket with racoon trim. (Don't diss racoon - it gets a bad rap, but MAN does it keep the snow out of my eyes when waiting for the bus). Don't get me wrong, I haven't decided to ditch the hard livin' of Alberta for the soft, granola lifestyle of the coast (even if my allergies would let me). But the allure is clear. I start to dream of california winters whenever I'm here. But I'd miss the snow. .... Right?

It looks like I have a place lined up. I have photo jobs already booked for May, a new designer on the hook, and a cookbook heading out to our agent in a few short weeks. And even if everything falls apart, I will be back home - where the sun is always brighter, the horizon is always further, and I know I have plenty of loving friends ready to take me in when the shit hits the fan.

It's those memories which keep me going as my mood fluctuates between Money!, Stress, Money!, Stress.... And which make me think maybe I don't have too much re-inventing to do, after all.

The Return of ... erm.... well, ME.

2009-04-14T19:51:00.004-06:00

As any regular reader will already know, I am returning to Edmonton after two years of high times. Literally high. Prairies are above sea level - I assume.

As part of the return I will be working full time at Froghaven (yay!) - which means more shoots, more prints, and even more GOOD TIMES.

Wrapping up my time here in BC, I will be shooting a number of projects over the next week, including the celiac cookbook my mother and I are finishing, and hopefully some more wallpapers for vibrantwalls.com (I don't have anything up there yet, but there are plenty of files sitting on my desktop waiting to be loaded).

I will also be completing the new websites for FrogHaven and Strangely Erotic - hopefully fabulous works of fancy which will awe and inspire. Or at the very least something which actually contains relevant information.

I am currently booking for shoots after May 15th and -not shockingly- the schedule is filling up pretty fast, so if any Edmontonians are looking for sessions in May or June, best get that email sent off to me soon! (froghaven@gmail.com). For that matter, any Victorians looking for a session before I leave (or a website, or a hug), give me a shout ASAP and I'll fit you in. I will be in town until the end of the month, then off to Vancouver for work for a few days, followed by the epic journey back to prairie-town.

Thanks to everyone who made Victoria survivable this winter! But I'm excited to be heading back to home sweet home after my long absence.

Television Revolution?

2009-04-04T04:02:00.006-06:00

I never thought I'd say this again... but there are actually some good shows on TV!

I'm not entirely sure how it happened - maybe it's the same thing that's been happening in music. One day you just realize things have changed. You're not sure how, you're not sure why, but suddenly there's hope for the industry again.

I had that moment, musically, when I first heard K-Os' "Exit" album. Finally something half decent in music! Heroes (season 1, only, of course) was the same for me with television.

Apparently, the trend Heroes signaled wasn't the false positive the show itself was (after season 1, Heroes went significantly downhill and has only now begun to get back to its original glory).

This last year has brought some of the best television I've seen in a decade. "Grey's Anatomy" may be a soap opera, but at least its a damn good one. "Heroes" has been returning to its 'comic' roots (very punny, I know). "Life on Mars" is the best example of an Americanized version of a UK show I've ever seen - right up until the final episode, that is (no spoilers, but let's just say TOO LITERAL! What the hell would have happened if at the end of "The Prisoner" he'd stood up, said "I retired because my boss was a crook" and then was made number 1? SERIOUSLY).

Other shows I've been watching? Why, I'm glad you asked. After almost 3 weeks barely functional, I've been watching a lot.

"The Big Bang Theory" continues to add brilliant geek humour to a trashy sitcom.

"Dollhouse" may not be the new "Buffy," but at least it isn't the next "Tru Calling." [Side note: The Host, (aka Lorne), from 'Angel' has passed away very recently - he was only in his early thirties, but had a congenital heart problem he'd been battling all his adult life. He really did his own singing, though, which I'm sure will get him points in the afterlife.]

"Being Erica" is an adorable Canadian show which makes you laugh, cry, and sing (along with 'Girls just want to have fun'). Featuring some of my favourite Canadian childstars, (tho sadly, still no Busy!), I <3 its silliness.

"Better off Ted," featuring Portia de Rossi (yowza) and that Scottish chick from "Ugly Betty" (really?), is incredibly over the top and hilarious - think "The Colbert Report" but with less Colbert and more Portia de Rossi having office sex.

"Chuck" continues to make me laugh - and, hell, I'll watch anything where 'Jayne' (Baldwin's similarly mercenary character on Firefly) gets to make bad guy soup.

"Californication" ... I don't know how to describe this one. I watched season 1 in about 3 days - that tells you how addictive it is. There is more T&A in one episode than that show on Bravo about 'sexual secrets.' WAY more. Duchovny has definitely won my heart back (despite whatever you call his performance in 'Connie and Carla'), by returning to the comedic and slightly pornographic roots he laid down during his time on the infamous 'red shoe diaries.' Boobs, Duchovny, excessive drug abuse, AND he's a writer.... Take out the Jewish lawyer from Sex and the City having sex in every episode, and you'd have my favourite show of the decade. I cried like a deflowered virgin at the end of the penultimate episode in season 2 (WAY better than the finale).

"House" has somehow remained fading but nowhere near gone - still feels like season 3, and that's a good thing on a show where the entire plot of every episode is 'person gets sick unexpectedly, they misdiagnose, random info about major character's personal life, another misdiagnosis, House abuses painkillers, yay we didn't kill the patient!' But then, maybe I'm just biased because this week's episode was 1) filmed from the patient's point of view (always a cool gimmick) and 2) the patient was Mos Def! Wh00t!

"Skins" - series 3 may have been an all new cast, but it was back to basics for the show: and that's a good thing! Short as BBC seasons are, this one was a doozy - with all the sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll we expect from the series, but with even more personal drama than ever before. whoo. Or maybe I just love a show with the lines: "But I do worry!" "Well, you know what we say about that, right?" "Just don't?" "Right. Just don't." (So painfully British and fantastic). My major issues? Season finale = improbable and weird. Tonnes of big set ups for small rewards. Thomas' episode was a thousand times better. Whose episode was that even supposed to be?? Cook's?? Stick to the established formula, guys - it works for a reason. Also, sad lack of the Mad Twatter - and whatsit the kinky gangster wasn't around nearly enough to make up for it.

Yes... there are still more good shows to be had!

"The Beast" has reunited the world with Patrick Swayze - just in time to see him die. That's right, Swayze has cancer (has had for a few years), and isn't long for this world. If he had to go out, this is the show to do it on: rough, fun, challenging, and actually half decent writing. Both main actors do amazing work, dragging the rest of the lacking cast with them (kicking and screaming).

"The Line" - interesting plot lines, incredibly dense characters, but I definitely do not recommend the show. The occasional 20-something in a miniskirt and regular appearances of gorgeous muscled black men cannot possibly make up for the constant over-60s sex. Very, very graphic sex. *shudders* Unless you're into old people doing it in hotel rooms - in that case, this is definitely the show for you!

"Trust Me" stars two of my favourite mainstream TV actors - the (Canadian) guy from Will and Grace (and Free Enterprise!!), and the (annoying) guy from "Ed." The latter has an amazing manic character which suits him FAR better than good ol' Ed - I personally feel this is the first chance the actor has really had to stretch his wings. (Methinks we will see some serious character expansion as he starts to get a taste for it). I love advertising stuff, and a (mostly) great script has really endeared me to this show. Major issues: too many sexual plot lines (like every show), and the family sequences are so strained and poorly written that I actually feel the urge to Phantom Edit them out of the show. Seriously, did they tell the writers to take the night off and hire monkeys in their place for these sequences? Otherwise, loving it.

And another BBC show - the wonderful "Number 1 Ladies' Detective Agency." Filmed entirely on location in Botswana, the show has a rich realism that you cannot find on any other show these days. I love the accents, I love the hilarious characters, and I adore the corny detective plots - the entire show feels like a cheesy 60s detective series, and that is definitely a good thing! Plus, gay black guy in Botswana running a hair salon who dances around the detective agency in his tight, brightly coloured underpants scaring the uptight secretary - what's not to love??

Phew! Is that all? Well, I still watch "How I Met Your Mother" but it is definitely going downhill - the funniest part of the recent episodes has been mocking all the different ways they try to hide Alyson Hannigan's huge pregnant belly. Online gossip has them set to reveal some brilliant and shocking new secrets that actually have something to do with the mother, but I'm not holding my breath. NPH is still a god, however. 'The Naked Man' episode will live in infamy.

Whatever you do, do not watch "Roommates" - definitely the worst show I have ever seen on an actual television station. In fact, I have seen pilots filmed on Daddy's camcorder which were FAR superior to this show. I am very hesitant to be so harsh, but this show definitely deserves it. Two thumbs way down!

"Bones" has been getting interesting again - lots of new assistants to perk things up, the big boss just lost an ex and gained a daughter (potentially), and the rumour mill has the two main characters hooking up for the finale - I'm not entirely sure how they'll manage that, but apparently before they do, Booth with have a drug trip and hallucinate Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. Seriously. I'm not making this stuff up (how could I??).

Oh, and Nathan Fillion is cementing his place in my heart with his work on "Castle." Not that the show is any good... He's just so darn charming. The kicker? He's twice as good looking - and sweet - in real life as he is on TV. Come back to Edmonton, Nathan! I'm single and I promise not to stalk you when you go to the bathroom (unlike certain friends of mine... *ahem*) ;) The show is, in truth, total crap - all the bad bad bad cheesiness of "Psych!" with none of the flair (Fillion may be sexy as hell, but his comedy needs work - hence why he played Mal so well (the character MEANT to have his jokes fall flat), and why Castle will never be able to compete).

Speaking of my favourite show since B5, why have I not mentioned "Psych!"? Because it's over. Finito. Finished. Until next season, that is. My favourite part about the show is that it hasn't matured at all - the characters are the same, the plots are the same, and the jokes are still like the scratched out selections on a "Simpsons" writer's notepad. Too obscure, too 80s, and too awesome for words. I recently discovered that they shoot in Vancouver... so if you hear rumours of a raven haired photographer skulking about the set, don't ask too many questions, yah?

Well, that about sums it up. I know it seems like a lot, but keep in mind most of these shows run in opposition (half have just started, half have just ended). Not to mention that I don't watch every episode of most of them. Ok, that's a lie. But what else am I supposed to do - study? ;P The truth is, I've never watched much TV. It is very, very nice to have an excuse to use my 6hours a week of TV time on actual TV instead of movies for a change.

(Though I snuck in a few of those - "7 lbs" because Will Smith is the sexy prince of my heart and "Slum Dog Millionaire" because it stars an original character from the aforementioned "Skins." Both movies are amazing - maybe not life changing, but they will probably make you shed a tear. Or two. Or six. Just so long as you suspend a little disbelief....)

Updates are for Losers

2009-03-27T22:37:00.005-06:00

The bad news is: I have a ganglion on my right hand. That may sound like a fan tattoo for supporters of the infamous "Central Ganglion" blog, but it is in fact a small and rather painful cyst lodged in the lowest knuckle of my index finger. At least, that's what we hope it is - I'm seeing a specialist in a few weeks to ensure the harmlessness of this painful interloper: if it is a ganglion, I wait a few months and get surgery, if not I'm in for a lot more doctor appointments.

With school out in a few short days, I'm excited to be finished with all the homework and exams and get on with the truly interesting things in life: shooting landscapes for www.vibrantwalls.com, finishing the Lazy Celiac Cookbook with my mom, and designing a whole new line of high end brochures for FrogHaven with my dad. I am also about halfway through redesigning the FrogHaven and Strangely Erotic websites, which should launch in May (fingers crossed!). I plan on having a large party at Red Star in Edmonton to celebrate the re-release of the site.

I have had so many offers of places to live when I return to Edmonton that it truly is an embarassment of riches. I'm making some calls this weekend, but I think I've found the place (so keep those fingers crossed). I am still looking for work, however, so if anyone needs photos or knows a studio looking for an editing specialist, give me a ring!

I am planning to hold a few small photography classes this summer, as well, so make sure to follow this blog for news if you are interested.

(And for the record, yes it hurts like heck to type with a ganglion in my knuckle. You're not getting a lot of updates until this heals or they start giving me real drugs!)

If you want or have requested a shoot when I return to Edmonton, PLEASE make sure to email me (froghaven@gmail.com) --- I do not have an accurate list of all the sessions I've promised.

Now... go out there and enjoy some of that spring sunshine!

The Watchtower

2009-03-23T01:38:00.003-06:00

Apparently, not just a classic song or an obscure refence -- The Watchtower is also a brilliant online podcast out of Toronto which is dedicated to comicbooks. And ... well, it's pretty damn good. If you have even a passing interest in comics or graphic novels, you should definitely check it out:

http://thewatchtowerpodcast.com/

Mennonite Party - Apparently, NOT an oxymoron!

2009-03-03T02:13:00.008-07:00

My grandfather (or, as we call him, our 'Opa') is of Mennonite descent, and raised his family fairly Mennonite until my father was a teenager. While my father (obviously) went a different direction with his religious beliefs, I've always felt a strong connection to my Mennonite roots and the few teachings I received. The religion, at its heart, seems pretty amazing to me: let kids choose their religion at puberty instead of foisting beliefs onto them at an early age, work hard (okay REALLY hard, because work IS prayer to a Mennonite), try not to sin, and value family above all else. Hmmm..... If only I could get past the "Jesus loves you and wants to help you ascend to Heaven" part, I'd be wearing clothes that covered everything and singing in gothic German!

Which brings me to Aunt Elizabeth. Auntie was born in the old country (which means Russia, despite the fact that we're called 'german mennonites' - we emigrated from Germany about 200 years ago and immigrated to Canada around 75yrs ago). Being unmarried and very traditional, Aunt Elizabeth was a driving force behind keeping the family intact/in contact as modernization and Canadianization took its toll.

When my Oma passed away about 7 years ago, I came to live with my Opa for a few years - a pretty good arrangement, it turned out, since we were both battling chronic illness and severe depression. I had left home a year before to live with my boyfriend at the time, and in doing so managed to alienate almost everyone in my family (a much more complicated story not for public consumption). Having grown up on a modernized version of a traditional Mennonite communal farm - mom, dad, sibling, aunt, uncle, cousins, second cousins, grandparents, and the occassional great aunt or uncle all on a single farm - losing most of my family connections crushed me. With the passing of my Oma around the same time, it felt as if our entire family was crumbling; as if the huge clan of Klassens I'd come to rely upon had died with her. Alienated and disconnected from the family, moving in with my Grandfather was a (frustrating but ultimately) wonderful opportunity.... But a big part of that had nothing to do with my Opa.

This would be where Aunt Elizabeth comes into play. She would call regularly to check up on the family and, being a depressed teenager unused to the big city, I tended to be home when she called. I loved talking to her, trading gossip about the various aunts and cousins across the country, because it made me feel like I was a part of a big network of loving family again. Or rather, it reminded me of how many people still didn't give a crap who I'd lived with at 18.

This weekend I had the great honour of attending my aunt Elizabeth's 100th birthday. That's not a typo - she turned 1 century old this sunday. You see, Auntie (or Tante Liese as she is called by the more German-connected side of the family) is not my aunt, but my GRANDFATHER'S auntie!

Rumour has it that she called every one of her nieces and nephews as regularly as she called my Opa, sharing the family stories and making us ALL feel like a part of the giant family network. Which, of course, we are.

I want each and every one of you to sit and think for a moment what that means - this woman, who still speaks English with a heavy Russian/German accent and sings all her hymns in Gothic German, would call at least a dozen families a minimum of once a month, as well as more regular contact with closer relations and various holidays, birthday parties, and church programs. IN HER LATE 90'S! She was stronger, more together, and more active in every aspect of her life at 98 than most people are in the their 70s. Or 40s.

At the party, one person told the story of Auntie talking about her own grandmother. She was quite young when her aging Oma came to live with them, and -even now, at her advanced age- she retains a certain childlike disdain for her own aging grannie. The story goes that, when asked about her Oma, Auntie scoffs and says "Good lord, that woman was so lazy! All she did was sit. She never exercised or anything. No wonder she died so young." Auntie's Oma passed away at age 87 - not a 'young' death by TODAY'S standards, never mind a hundred years ago! And yet that is the way of Aunt Elizabeth, and all her ilk: To be is to do. Stop doing, and you are no longer a person - you are just a corpse waiting for your body to catch on and let you die.

I believe that is a lesson we should all take to heart. And maybe, just maybe, we'll live to have half as long and rich a life as my great, great auntie.

February is The Worst Month of the Year

2009-02-28T21:49:00.005-07:00

Let's think about this for a minute... why is February the shortest month of the year? Because everyone is desperate to get it finished with as soon as possible. The sun is weak and rarely seen... especially here in Victoria, where clouds hide the sky 90% of the time. (Though I do admit there was an amazing 5 days of pure sunlight which were heaven).

February also contains my birthday, which is an awesome day when surrounded by friends and love, but a sucky day when you sit at home doing homework and ditch all your friends because of the crippling results of not seeing the sun for weeks on end. Not that that is what happened to me (I had to work! REALLY!), but I'm just saying... that would suck. Really, really suck.

Which is why my next birthday party is hereby entitled "February Sucks."

In an effort to break out of the mid-winter, mid-semester blues, I spent a week working in Vancouver. 15 shoots quickly became 8, but that was probably a much more reasonable schedule anyways. I'm really enjoying working with emerging models - the work is more rewarding than weddings or editing jobs, I've made some great contacts, and I think the images from this set of sessions will better show my audience the direction I've been taking in my work.

There are downsides, of course, chief amongst them a lack of professionalism. I also have trouble connecting with the models and helping them to really grow in a session, because I get too caught up in planning for my next shoot (or the meal I will desperately try to sneak in between sets). A lot of the work is far more stagnant than I would really prefer because of this. However, I got out into the sunshine with some fascinating new people and definitely got out of my mid-semester rut.

This year has been incredibly frustrating. All the health problems I thought cured by my time in Banff have come back with a vengeance - likely due to the massive amount of stress I deal with here. Or, more likely, I just didn't notice as much when I could simply pack up and climb a mountain at a moment's notice.

I climbed Mt Tolmie last night, watching the sunset colour a dozen mountain peaks. The panoramic view is really quite stunning, and the place has some meaning for me. But I felt nothing beyond the normal enjoyment of a beautiful place. The opening up of self, the intense joy I felt hiking in Banff is not present here. I don't know if it's the place, my attitude about BC, or just the crushing weight of my current baggage weighing me down... But I miss the pure emotion of moments like the image in my calendar where the Bow River curves away into the distance. There are no big open spaces here, metaphorically or literally.

FrogHaven and Strangely Erotic are both in a state of flux at the moment. I am working on new websites for both, as well as print galleries for sales of your favourite images, and a new improved FH blog. I have also commited to submitting to the great new site, http://vibrantwalls.com/ so keep your eyes on the site for new downloads and some fantastic content from myself and others.

Let us all breathe a sigh of relief that we have survived yet another February - and pray that March will be better.

Shout Out to Mah Peeps

2009-02-08T22:40:00.002-07:00

Wow, I really need to stop pretending to be cool. That title is just plain painful.

I've been delaying making another post because we were at post #69! Yay! It's a milestone AND it's naughty. However, just like the real thing, I found 69 distracted me from the real point of the enterprise...

This is just a quick shout out to all the viewers of this site. Why? Because 50% of the people cool enough to view my site are also cool enough to use firefox. And that deserves a serious shout out. (All you IE users... I'm watching you!)

Other random statistics:
1) Googling "Brent Spiner Autism" can take you to this site. Odd.
2) Half my hits are referrals (including some lovely person who linked her video recommendation newsletter to my post about Star Trek nerds making videos of Chakotay and Janeway. Kudos to you, fair stranger!)
3) John is by far the most avid reader of the blog. How do I know this? Not just his comment posts, but also the 10% of my readers coming here directly from Spuzzum... And he doesn't have a link to me. That's right John, I'm cyber stalking you cyber stalking me. It's a weird world.
4) Only one user in the last month viewed this site with Chrome... And I'm pretty sure his initials are Mr. NB. (Which may sound like an awesome obscure reference to the Betty Boop character Mr. Nobody, but really its just coincidence.)
5) I really, really like the number 5.

The Greatest Cure for Depression Ever Invented

2009-02-05T02:09:00.005-07:00

Things I have learned from Sister Act II:

1) Few things cannot be cured by a hyperactive rendition of "O Happy Day."
2) Those that can't - require a double dose.
3) Lauryn Hill looks just as pretty as she sings. (Gotta find "That Thing" again)
4) Whoopie Goldberbg has the worst agent in existence. How do I know this? Because she is so ridiculously awesome and yet is forced to do The View and be the Center Square for a decade. Agent = fail.
5) Those baggy pants from the early 90's look bad on anyone, no matter how hot. It wasn't just me.
6) Whoopie Goldberg is awesome. I know I mentioned that already, but quite frankly it deserves repeating. (Gotta find "Boys on the Side" again, too)
7) Silly 90's comedies have a very, very important role to play. We can't just watch "Philedelphia" every day.
8) This one is technically thanks to IMDb but I'm posting it anyways..... The SA2 baddie, "Crisp," is played by Looten Plunder from CAPTAIN PLANET! :P

Heroes Returns

2009-02-03T21:59:00.006-07:00

OK, anyone who knows me knows I had a serious comic book addiction at one time. And by 'at one time' I mean, I have a serious comic book addiction but money forces me to be sane about it.

If spending half my life at comic cons and dating comic book store owners has taught me anything, it is that anyone over the age of 30 whose life dream is to own a comic book store is probably seriously, seriously damaged goods.

However, it has also given me a solid background in the mythology of the comic book world - the rules for characters, interactions, innovations, etc. And a seriously scary encyclopedia of character bios.

Both of which come in handy when watching "Heroes."

I've never been a tv slave - I watch it when I want to turn my brain off, that's all. I have certainly never cancelled real life plans so I could watch the newest episode of something while it aired. Until Heroes, that is.

My friend Danica got me into the show about 5 episodes in. While she likely discovered the show because one of the main characters is played by a guy who starred on Gilmore Girls (and was awesome), I loved the show because it not only respected the comic book world which spawned it, but managed to take classic comic stereotypes and turn them on their heads. And, I'll admit it, I started coming home early on Tuesdays just to watch the latest episode.

When season 2 came around, I was sorely disappointed. I stopped watching new episodes and only caught up well after the season finished. (I still can't remember half of what happened that season, it was so mind-numbing).

Season 3, however, wildly exceeded my expectations. It recaptured the comic book archetypes which had originally made it so great. (Identical super powered triplets? hell ya! And these ones aren't even telepathically linked teenagers). It also managed to find its groove again when it came to plot -- constantly setting us up in one direction and leaving you shocked and breathless at the end of (almost) every episode.

My favourite part about the show is how we are allowed to see both the good and bad guys at the same time. In fact, its never too clear which is which. Instead of being cartoon charicatures with only one level of motivation (good is good! bad is bad!), we see the pitfalls of life and how ones morals can shift based on experiences. Each character is portrayed as good, then evil, then good again -- all while staying true to the character themselves. Only our interpretation of the character is changing. The writers set up our expectations (blondes = good guys!) and then knock them down (blondes = slutty backstabbing whores).

I admit, a few episodes in Volume 3 fell down on the job... Near the end, the switches became omnipresent and overwhelming. The main storyline throughout the show (the battle of wills and morals between brothers Nathan and Peter) becomes far too heavyhanded and kills a lot of the lovely subtle writing, which is forced into the background. WE GET IT! Brothers that see opposing sides of the issue. Whoo. THAT'S never been done before.

**spoiler alert** ((I would also like to take this opportunity to say -- what the hell? Why does Nathan end up the president in EVERY SINGLE version of the future? Even when he's actually just Sylar doing his Mystique trick, he still gets to be president. Maybe the answer to everyone's problems is to kill Nathan and stop letting him be in control of the free world! Which are harsh words, concidering I actually tend to like his character more than Peter. Pete gets all uber preachy and whiney, Nathan is strong and proud and stands up for what he believes... even if it means killing his entire family - or at least, putting them in a high security holding facility.)) **end alert**

Ok. Glad I got that off my chest. Back to my point.... Whatever it was.

As Volume 4 opens, I'm left torn. Everyone points out that it's only been two months, yet character after character greet eachother with "It's been a long time." UGH. The basic premise is so over the top and painfully making a point about American foreign policy that it is hard to focus on any actual action. Yes, comic books were always used as a thinly veiled metaphor for modern politics. In fact, most of the early comics were used to bolster patriotism, blah blah blah.

Screw that. I want serious drama/politics, I turn on Boston Legal or something similar. They make their point about policy (anyone see last season's mad cow episode? no holds barred), make it watchable, AND they clearly advertise that this is the purpose of the show! Heroes is meant to be action with a touch of drama, not the other way around.

That being said, the plot direction is intriguing and relies heavily on the groundwork laid in volumes 1 and 3. (Again, I barely remember 2, though I'm sure there was plenty of this stuff going on there, too). The ending, as always, left me with a racing heart and a "WTF? THAT'S where they cut?!?!?" But the awful, awful script left the actors little to work with. I can quite honestly say if this was the quality of the first season, I would never have made it to the fourth.

And I want to meet Sylar's dad, dammit! The guy's clearly a psycho: can't wait to see who plays him. (Which amazing choices like George Takei, Clea Duvall, Kristen Bell, and Malcolm McDowell, one can only speculate who will be selected as the biological father of the show's #1 baddie).

One last comment - when did this stop being Mohinder's show? Seriously. He is the narrator, the only character to appear in almost every episode, and the main connection between all the characters. I loved his good guy/bad guy meltdown last season, but ever since he went superpowered he's been boring... and been getting a lot less screen time. I guess they already played out his "my father loved my dead sister more than me!" storyline, but the show needs a unifying element, and without something stable the entire thing is going to get mired in its own hyper-convoluted plots.

That's all I have to say for now. In summary:

1) show still doesn't look as bad as season 2 was.
2) less overdone american propaganda politics crap, more hitting things.
3) less nathan as the bad guy, more mohinder
4) when do we get to meet the 3rd triplet? C'mon, we've been waiting almost 4 months!
5) where did the cute Black Cat chick get to? Yah, you killed whatsherface. Move on, kick ass.
6) more teleporting!
7) I <3 convoluted plots, but they have to make sense.
8) WAY fewer daddy issues, please.
9) stop taking pages from late 90's X-men (those volumes sucked for a reason!), and quit giving new powers to already established characters. Telepathy gets boring after awhile, I get it, but you can't just push new powers onto a character with no explaination. Even Jean Grey had to die before she got to be the real Pheonix!
10) "I just want to be normal" was overused as a superhero character device in 1994. There's no more juice left in it. It worked for the teenager well enough, but making EVERY character whine about it constantly for your entire Vol 4 opener is old, tired, and very very very boring. Get new material, or at least use something that painfully cliche with a little irony or sarcasm.

Other Features

2009-02-01T15:58:00.004-07:00

Ok, so after being so harsh on the main sharing functions of Spore (auto upload to youtube is only cool if the video is a viewable resolution), I've discovered a few more hidden features that work a little better.

The first is the widget you see on the previous two posts: as you can see, the images are much higher resolution. These are actually for the Sporepedia page for your account, but they allow you to post it elsewhere if you wish. They are definitely a step up from the youtube video.

The other thing I didn't know about was the automatic animated avatars created every time you upgrade/change your creation. A pretty awesome animation is saved in your Spore folder and clearly shows the creative progression - which is actually a pretty awesome way to watch a creature be created. It's a shame that the position is so odd and again the resolution is minimal, but I quite enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to get them to run on blogger :( They are animated gifs, but if I load them as a pic they become a pic, and they won't load as a video. If anyone knows how to write the html to upload them, LEMME KNOW!

I've attached some as pics to illustrate, anyways.

More Spore

2009-02-01T15:47:00.003-07:00

So... I actually learned how to change the body/skeleton of my creations now! Yay, no more snake-bodies on everything. I called this duckie a "Gleeful."

Yes, creative naming is not high on my list of skills. We can't be good at EVERYTHING. At least he's cute.

Spore Widget

2009-01-30T21:00:00.001-07:00

Correction, with apologies

2009-01-24T19:56:00.004-07:00

OK as John so rightly pointed out... Rutger Hauer is NOT Ricardo Montelbaun. They are different people, and only one is dead. I got the wrong on.

So... yah... I suck. There, it's been said, now John can stop saying it.

In other news...

Downloaded Spore - the "Sim Everything" game which networks every users creations together - so you can steal their awesome ideas.

Let's start by explaining my desperate infatuation with the Sims games. I started playing waaaayyy back in SimCity days. (SimAnt remains the greatest Sim ever made, and also the hardest to track down nowadays). These games are insanely addictive, especially for control freaks like me. Can't get your shit together? That's okay, because SimLila just won a million dollar lottery and has three beautiful kids! :P

You get the point.

If you add up all the hours I've spent playing Sims games (especially the insanely addictive and ever expanding Sims2), I strongly suspect it would reach a number higher than any other activity in my entire life - definitely more than eating, and likely is giving sleep a run for its money. That is a sad statement, true, but realize this game play is spread over more than a decade. And I'm a loser.

Spore lived up to the reviews 100%. The creators are brilliant. Insanely brilliant, in fact. My humanoid-dragons, the cramloids (DO NOT name your creations at 4am), were ridiculously easy to build - better yet, you are never stuck for ideas, because the forms grow organically from the set shapes/bodyparts given to you by the game. You have tonnes of control, but not too much (like the Sims1 creator). My only frustration was being about to map beautiful textures on my buildings and having them rendered down to mush during game play. Damn you, system constraints!

The first section of the game is almost identical in play to a stoner game my friend Ryan plays on the PS3 (I will track down the name whenever I next remember to call him). You float around, eat things, get the bejeezus scared out of you by other beings six billion times bigger than you (this becomes a theme throughout the levels - godzilla just about totalled me in the next section). Luckily, (for those of us playing sober), this section is short and sweet, which means the gameplay remains fairly interesting - we don't have time to get bored.

The next section was by far my favourite. Seeing adorable little ameobas with legs is only part of the appeal - you get to interact with dozens of brilliant creatures invented by Maxis (or by the other Spore players, thanks to Sporepedia). I honestly kept playing for almost an hour after passing the level, just because it was so much fun.

Which, quiet frankly, was a good idea - because tribal and city stages SUCK. They are basically very bad versions of Risk/Civilization. The City stage is a bit better - they took a few pages from their Black and White Two playbook, but quite frankly they didn't steal enough of them. Tribal took me a total of MAYBE half an hour to finish. (Make baby, give it an instrument, play for the rival tribe, rinse and repeat). A couple gifts to the tribes you can't quite convert yet and you're sitting pretty - no real predation, no lack of food, and an easy balance to play. In other words - BORING.

However, I may try playing it the hard/stupid way (violent) because your decisions on each level actually effect your quests and abilities in following levels. Which, quite frankly, is awesome. And annoying. And totally pointless.

Definitely the coolest idea put forth by this game, but it definitely falls short as it fails to hold you to those 'established traits' -- for instance, I was a carnivorous spore, but kept my vegetarian mouth when i upgraded. That meant I was technically a carnivore, but in actuality was omnivorous. Stupid game, letting me trick you in the first 30 minutes! ((Though my herbivorous spore fillials looked like AWESOME whiskers on my dragon dudes!))

The final section plays like a bad flash game. It is awe-inspiring in its potential, but falls flat almost immediately. There are basically only 4 things to do: fight, trade, colonize (which basically means terraforming for a few minutes then being stuck checking in on that planet every 5 minutes for the rest of eternity), or run errands. Seriously, that's what they're called. Normally it means abducting some poor animal from an obscure planet, though it can also mean killing them or stealing their trees.

I've played good trading games before -- Tradewinds and Tradewinds 2 definitely win my vote for that. They are super cheap, have 80s style graphics, and do an awesome job keeping you interested in the trades. Spore lacks any of the playability features necessary for a trading game. Ok, so you can upgrade your flight range, but there are absolutely no shortcuts, you can't arrange to have someone else collect your supplies, and there are no logs/hints to help you keep track of who is buying what (I LOVE that feature in Tradewinds). It feels like someone said - hey, why don't we throw in a trade element? And then they let a 19yr old code it in two days. WE CAN DO BETTER!

Ok, enough ranting. Is the game worth the $50 download from EA so you can access the Sporepedia, or should you just go to a torrent site and yank it? Yank it. Seriously. I love the Sporepedia, and I'm glad I spent the money, but for anyone but a fanatic this game gets very old very fast. There are a lot of amazing features, but basically this is not a PLAYING game. This is a creation game. And on that, it gets 9/10. For replayability? 3/10. Overall quality? 6/10 - worth the time, but not a week of your life.

Spore also allows you to take a photo or make a video... These are so ridiculously low res as to be useless. Witness photo above (which was drastically cropped to make the figure even visible) and the video below:

Star Trek Nerd Time!

2009-01-23T03:38:00.012-07:00

Ok, so I was researching a Brent Spiner website project I'm doing for Web 401 (which is a whole story in and of itself) and I kept coming across amazing stuff...

To start,

Andreas Kutlas and Rutger Hauer are dead! SAD! (yes, that's pretty random to learn from an online search about Brent Spiner/Data, but one gets onto tangents.)

Creating cheesey videos of Janeway and Chakota (from Star Trek Voyager) set to cheesey romantic music is a huge youtube phenomenon (apparently). Definitely the funniest example of this is:

Brent Spiner not only co-wrote Nemesis (which explains both the Data-centered plot and the character's death) but his first choice for Picard's clone was not the Harvey Fierstein-soundalike but James Marsters of Buffy / Angel fame! (He would have had my full support!)

The greatest TNG fan song ever is at: http://tborgax.homepage.dk/It was made by an ubernerd in Denmark back in 1997. I've listened to it 6 times in the last hour alone. The video was made in 2006, I believe, by another fanboy, and it is hands down the greatest thing ever posted on youtube to date:

The dance at 0:57 is the best part. It makes me laugh until I cry. To understand just how amazingly hilarious this video is to me, you have to realize that I grew up watching TNG (I have collector's items and everything). Picard/Stewart forever cemented the bald older man in my fetish list (not that I've managed to find many to compete with the man himself ;) you know who you are!). Greatest 'sexy Picard' memory - Michelle (friend of my parents) had a photo of Patrick Stewart flexing his biceps permanently affixed to her fridge right at my eye level. That was one helluva gun show... Go fan-porn! :D

THERE -- ARE -- FOUR -- LIGHTS! (http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=o_eSwq1ewsU&NR=1)

And finally.... I want Brent Spiner's new concept album "Dreamland" for my birthday! http://www.therealbrentspiner.com/

Dude, we're on Facebook!

2009-01-16T23:36:00.003-07:00

For those of you that don't know, Froghaven has a page on Facebook. Yah, big whoop, everyone does. And ours is pretty lame right now because I'm too busy to actually put anything good up on there.

BUT

The good news is - we just got a whole lot cooler! You can now send FrogHaven photos as gifts to your friends, as well as displaying them on your profile. Check it out: http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=45511088426

And get sending!!

"Numb"

2009-01-12T04:39:00.003-07:00

I happened across this movie in the discount bin. Having a strange weakness for Mathew Perry, especially in unusual films, I decided to chance it.

What I discovered was an incredibly strange little movie bearing little resemblance to the blurb on the cover. Never before have I seen a movie more acturately portray the dissociation of depression (or in this case, anxiety). This film watches like an indie flick that somehow found itself a big budget and real stars... It takes the audience places such a slick and beautifully shot film rarely does.

Which is not to say that its a beautiful film in the aesthetic sense - only in comparison to true indie flicks. The movie is the polished brass beneath the indie grit, everything right in the story polished to a Hollywood gleam. Plus a little T&A.

Perhaps it was because I so strongly sympathized with the character, but I adored the film. I couldn't bear to turn it off for 30 seconds to go to the washroom or get a drink, for I was too entranced. 90minutes passed effortlessly and while, yes, there was a love story, it was so beautifully eccentric a little movie that I honestly had no idea if they would get back together or not. Tho, as always, we hope.

I highly reccomend this film for anyone who has experienced the severe dissociation of intense depression or anxiety - but more importantly, I recommend it for anyone who has NOT known those feelings and has had to deal with someone they love experiencing it. The disconnect from real life is terrifying, but worse than living it is being the Kevin Pollak character, pounding on the door and begging him to stand up, to dress, to live his life.

Again, perhaps it is my personal sympathy for the characters, but I found the movie all round adorable, and highly recommend it to the manic depressives and RomCom fans alike.

I never do this, but....

2009-01-07T18:38:00.002-07:00

Ok, I don't normally do this. In fact, I very rarely even keep track of celebrity gossip. (Heath Ledger had been dead for months when I finally found out).

However, I was intruiged by a number of recent articles I encountered on Gawker. Not because of the tragic passing of Jett Travolta (which was just sad, and whether his nurse was a joke or not it was probably going to happen sooner or later), but rather because of the way they connected the possibility of Travolta senior's homosexuality with the death of his son.

What the hell do the two have to do with eachother?

Let's start with... I don't give a crap if Travolta's gay, bi, straight, or a polygamist. It does not matter to me. In fact, I'm inclined to believe that Travolta really DOES kiss everyone that way (in response to http://gawker.com/5122788/travoltas-rumored-gay-lover-discovered-dead-son). That's not the point.

Whether he hired Jeff Kathrein as an excuse to have his lover travel with him, or simply because he wanted a nurse for his son who understood his religious beliefs, the point is not the homosexuality -- but the hiring of someone completely unqualified.

Jeff Kathrein runs a professional photography company with his wife, and (in my professional opinion), is actually quite good. That does not make him a good nurse!

Scientology teaches that autism and other mental diseases are MADE UP by the person suffering -- that is, they are like hypochondriacs, creating problems where no organic problem truly exists. The church tells parents to 'cleanse' their children (needless to say, this practise isn't as simple -or as healthy- as baptism) and ignore the obvious signs of severe diseases like autism. (Which many experts think Jett Travolta had - judging from photos and video of him, I am strongly inclined to agree that he at least had SOME mental illness, very likely severe autism).

Many people, stars included, are duped by the church into believing ---as so many other parents wish to--- that their child isn't REALLY sick. That they can just pray and ignore until it goes away. IT NEVER GOES AWAY. The result is lying to themselves and to others, not arranging for appropriate care (not out of cruelty, but out of ignorance and wishful thinking), and eventually tragedies such as that on New Years. Check out http://gawker.com/5125778/john-travolta-grieving-and-deceiving: especially the poorly photoshopped jawline on the photos. People who feel it necessary to lie about the kid's goddam JAWLINE are going to admit that he has a mental illness?

The real story isn't that a sick child died - that is sad, but it happens every day. The story is that he could have lived, and had a better quality of life, had his parents been willing to accept the nature of his disease and try to work with it. Whether the under qualified nurse was there for other reasons, too, is moot.

However, the gossip-mag's support for claims that John Travolta is gay also stem from the same problem. It is a fairly well established fact that gay and lesbian scientologists are forced to remain in the closet (just as many members of the GBLTQ community are forced to lie because of religious or familial pressures). This is sick, and very very wrong.

I've never seen anyone destroy their life because of marijuana (though motivation is a different issue), yet culturally and legally we -as North Americans- tend to be strongly against using it. Yet forcing people to lie about who they are - not giving them answers, or options - not only destroys lives, it destroys families, and still we (as a whole) continue to validate these pressures. How can we take such a firm stand against drugs, when culturally and legally we are still so supportive of forcing gays and lesbians to live a lie? I have seen people grow up sick and twisted because they were not able to admit -even to themselves- their homosexuality, because of years of anti-gay indoctrination. Take a moment to google the stats - being gay doesn't make one depressed, but being in the closet can cause anxiety and depression so severe that suicide, even murder, are not unheard of.

Don't try to pretend these are not still issues in today's world. We may have a few laws to protect gay rights, but the world still wants us to put on our straight mask and pretend to be just like everyone else. The same way that the church of Scientology wanted poor Jett Travolta to put on his sane mask and pretend to be a normal kid.

Seizures don't go away. Neither does gay. And we can't pretend they do.

Movie Time

2008-12-27T16:46:00.004-07:00

So... I've had a couple solid days of watching random crappy movies, and here's what I've decided....

Babylon AD --- ROCKS! Just as good as I expected.

I would like to take a moment here to ask - why does Vinn Diesel get such a bum rap? Yah, he's an action whore, but at least he's a damn good one!

The movie was "Children of Man" meets "Bladerunner." They missed some of the elements that made Bladerunner such a classic, but it still was well above par for random SF movies... And I'm a sucker for a sappy ending.

House Bunny - Almost vaguely watchable. The extras are sort of cute, if overplayed. My favourite is the native chick - waaaay too accurate a rendition (right up to the 'drop off some timber' scene, which is high on my list for brain bleaching).

Bangkock Dangerous - OMG stop the presses!! Nick Cage actually did a good movie again!

After the travesty(ies) which was National Treasure, I'd given up hope for the man who once stole my heart by seducing Cher in "Moonstruck." Still his best work - I liked him better with bad teeth and body hair.

Still, Bangkock Dangerous was an excellent action flick. Yes, it hit every cliche squarely on the head, BUT it did so with incedible finesse. 4/5 for an action movie, 3/5 for plot development, 4/5 for acting by adorable random asian chick. No Michelle Yeoh (see Babylon AD for that), but still adorable to watch.

A Matter of Loaf and Death - We all know how much I love Wallace and Gromit, so can I just say: Yay! OK, OK, so it has followed the trend of the last couple Nick Park productions... Clearly the series is going down in quality rather than up. But I still adore the affable duo. Plus, Gromit gets a little girlfriend! How adorable is that?

X-Files "I want to believe" - Let's just get this out of the way right now... I adore David Duchovny. The first time I saw him getting hot and bothered by other people's porn letters (Red Shoe Diaries), I was in love. The fact that he grew a scruffy, Banffite beard for this movie (much like my current boytoy recently did) only made me want to see it more.

I am clearly completely out of touch with the Xfiles universe (when the hell did Mulder and Scully have a kid???), but even without any background info the movie was still quite fun. It really felt more like an extended episode than a movie, plus there were more severed limbs than I really like, but Amanda Peet is still aces in my books and balanced that out. 3.5/5

And just in case I haven't said it enough.....

Season 3 of Heroes rocked!
I know we were all disappointed by Season 2... Heck, I stopped watching 3 episodes in. But Season 3 goes back to basics, subverting our expectations and living up to the comic universe - the history, stereotypes, and true stories. OK, so it goes a little far. (About episode 10 it peaks). But still... If you had any enjoyment from season 1, watch volume 3!

That is all..... for now.

Xmas in the Mountains

2008-12-24T16:43:00.003-07:00

Thanks to my wonderful friends Bonnie and Noah, I am spending the week chilling in their awesome downtown banff condo... where I have an actual kitchen. Seriously. And I don't have to share it with anyone :D

I've already been hiking (and remembered, belatedly, that camera batteries die REALLY fast at -20), and plan on cross country skiing and snowshoeing as well before heading to calgary for work next week.

A couple days in Cowtown, three days in Van-city, then back to Vic just in time to move into the dorms!

I managed to see almost everyone while in Edmonton, except my best gay buddy, and was overwhelmed by all the love and good cheer. Looking forward to seeing my bro at the grandparents' 50th anniversary in January....

Lots of awesome new pics, great classes next semester, and I've been so happy/busy/overwhelmed that I totally forgot to put up a pic for december.... So I'll post TWO for january! Keep checking back for updates... and pics.

Could I BE more busy? [in Chandler-voice]

2008-11-29T02:49:00.003-07:00

So here's the deal...

I am shooting between 1 and 3 different models each day I am in Edmonton. In addition, I am doing 2 or 3 modeling sessions myself, as well as all that family stuff. Then I head to Banff for a week of bliss, a few more modelling sessions, and a lot of hiking in the snow. mmmmm.

Then on to Vancouver for 3 whirlwind days of shooting with A-MAZE-ING photographers (I have no idea who conned these guys into thinking I'm hot, but who am I to dissuade them?). I've already booked NINE photographers for my second trip in February, because there wasn't anywhere near enough time to work with evertyone this trip. Problems I like to have, yah?

Then, back to BC to start classes the next day. Life is good :)

Editing Manic

2008-11-15T04:31:00.002-07:00

Not quite as fun as a dancing maniac, but an editing manic is all I've got....

3am editing sessions are pure joy. No irony, no sarcasm. Joy.

Pulled out some new stuff and one ancient photo of Amanda (with guitar). Fans of FrogHaven will recognize Amanda from the nude girl with guitar image that is so beloved on my website.

Studying and studying and studying right now, so not much time for anything else, but I went a little crazy and I think it was worth it! I'm officially making Amanda the image of the month... a few weeks late, but well worth the wait.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

2008-11-04T23:57:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I have to wait another 23 days for a new episode of PSYCH!

That is all.

"In Her Shoes"

2008-10-31T01:50:00.003-06:00

Let's start with... I don't like Cameron Diaz. She is permanently etched into my mind as the rich all too lovable Kimmi in "My Best Friend's Wedding" (don't listen to my dad, that movie is a classic!). I never made it through more than 10 minutes of "Something About Mary" and I can't even think of another movie she's been in.

After watching "In Her Shoes" (opposite the always amazing Tony Colette), I still don't like her character. But I'm starting to respect her as an actress.

I admit it... I cried. Yes, I know I'm a sucker for a good tear jerker - this comes as no surprise to anyone who's ever watched 'RENT' with me - but the movie really was sweet and the premise hit home in a way few things do for me.

You see, I've lived it.

This movie is about finding your own balance, at its heart, but it focuses much more around the relationship of two sisters - one studiuos and ... okay, maybe not FAT, but definitely a little too food-friendly; the other is... well, Cameron Diaz. Her lack of book larnin' and tendency to sleep with anything that moves pales next to her incredible body (especially her rack and legs, which you see PLENTY of, throughout). Diaz's character is wild - she steals, she parties, she gets herself into bad situations then wonders why she almost gets raped. And she doesn't give a second thought to the damage that it does to her sister's life.

Like all movie plots, it is a super-charged, over exaggerated charicature of real women. I do not - quote me here, DO NOT - feel that my own life ever paralleled this movie exactly. But it could have been the 'true story' which inspired the hollywood tripe.

I connected with the journey of Colette's character because it echoed my own. I knew exactly how she felt coming home to the wild mess of her drunken sister... Though, thank the gods, my own 'sister' has always been far more conciderate of my life than Diaz's character.

Diaz's character doesn't seem to have a second thought for the people she's hurting, which I hate -- that's a Hollywood fallacy. People always care when they hurt those they love, even addicts. Its just less important than the next party, or the next hit, or the next whatever. What rings true, however, is her self-hatred, and the way it fuels her incredibly self-destructive lifestyle.

In the movie, they have to seperate to find themselves. Once they discover their own unhappiness and begin to repair those wounds, they are able to make amends with eachother - and to understand and appreciate the depths of their friendship, beyond their mere genetic bond. Which rings very, very true - at least in my experience.

I'd just like to say, for the record, to my own sister and best friend... Thanks for never stealing from me or sleeping with my boyfriend. (Like Diaz's character did). Tho, let's face it - if I'd ever had any money or dated someone you found halfway attractive it might have been more of an issue. Am I right? :P Oh well, at least you have better legs than Diaz. ((And the fact that Colette's character is a lawyer definitely adds an extra layer of hilarity to the parallels))

This is a cheesy and predictable movie which hits all the right points. It is a great watch for anyone who has ever had a sister or a best friend... And for anyone who loves Jimmy Choos or wants to see a LOT of Cameron Diaz's body. Luckily for me, I fall into all those categories :)

Frog Fetish

2008-10-26T21:28:00.005-06:00

Due to the large amount of CDs and other ridiculously overpriced things I lost during my move to Victoria, I am planning on posting a wishlist for this Christmas... Mostly in the hopes of replacing said items. However, I plan on putting a few other things on, as well..... And these links were just so great I couldn't wait!

For someone (like me) with a frog fetish... All I can say is "oh yah, baby!" :P http://www.thefind.com/apparel/info-frog-boxer

For those of your who don't know, this image is "Ribit" by Vancouver Tsimshian artist Corey W. Moraes. It is my favourite frog image of all time, and has a lot of meaning for me. I have stickers, a hat, even a token i carry every day in my wallet - all with this image. So when I found this tumbler... Let's just say, it's a match made in heaven.
http://www.discovernw.org/store_travel-mug-tumbler-ribit_16508.html

Have a great Hallowe'en! I look forward to all of you e-mailing me pics of your costumes.

I'm not touching the whole "pregant robot" metaphor with a 10ft pole

2008-10-10T00:15:00.004-06:00

ok i know i'm a little late to the party. Everyone else has already reviewed Wall-E already. I read most of those reviews, too - 'another masterpiece... if only they didn't diss the Americans so bad.'

erm... not so much. on either account.

First, the people are big and stupid because that is how society would progress under those circumstances. (probably). it's a reasonable hypothesis, and if people see the american way of life being parodied... well, that says a hell of a lot more about the american way of life than it does about pixar, doesn't it?

On to the masterpiece part... Yes, it's funny. So is Family Guy, on occasion, but i don't call it a masterpiece. A laugh is just a laugh, and bad tv manages it just as well as good movies.
Everything that works in Wall-E was taken from the far superior cult classic, "silent Running." I don't say that just because it is one of my favourite movies of all time... or because i first saw it when i was in the age range Wall-E is targeted towards. I say it because its true.

Wall-E is adorable. He also looks VERY much like the robots on SR. All his cute features, anyways. His puppydog nature was endearing, but so was Huey's. And heck yah, i cried when wall-e got squished -- even tho his squishing was inevitable, and being a kids film we knew he was bound to get back on his feet. But you know what? I cried a helluva lot more for the poor robot left outside on SR. It is still one of the most enduring moments in SF... Certainly, a key moment in the evolution of our treatment of robots in film. Wall-e just had his memory wiped. big whoop.

I did like the whole mac-pc thing. That was cute - for about 3 minutes. After that, it was just sad. I get it! She's a shiny new apple product with a penchant for shooting first and asking questions later. He's a mentally retarded pc full of spyware and desperately in need of some non-cockroach company. But how, oh how, will two robots from different sides of the tracks ever make it in such a crazy world??

Please. Also, notice that the Apple products are the ones trying to control/coddle us to death? Except the autopilot of course... He looks like he came direct from a sketchpad at Wowee Robotics (the dancing robot and dinosaur people). I'm not quite sure what they're saying with that... Robotics in the now is dominated by cheap plastic toys that can communicate with one another, so eventually they will run our ships and let the computers make all the other robots? Hmmmmmm. Maybe I shoulda been nicer to my Wowee robots.

Over all, the whole thing feels like one of those cute little promo videos normally played before a pixar film. Only this time someone went nuts and decided to let it run for 90minutes. What should have been a brilliant homage to Silent Running became a marketing gimmick and destroyed what was left of my faith in pixar.

Oh, I'll keep watching their movies. But I won't enjoy them anymore. Much.

--
ps. Sigourney Weaver makes the sexiest computer voice ever. I would seriously start a rebellion just to get her to talk about me. Yah, she's just that delicious.

Dirty Politics

2008-10-04T18:22:00.006-06:00

I do my best to stay out of politics. I have my opinions and will defend them when asked, I vote (normally), and I know most of the issues if not well, than at least better than Joe Average. Under normal circumstances, however, I keep my opinions to myself - figuring that my family is political enough. If you add in our friends, there's more political discourse than during an election year in a small country. Yet today I saw something on TV which caused me to break my rule - something which so offended me that I am getting political.

Now, I do vote NDP. Not because I'm a rabid follower, as one of my friends in particular is. Certainly not because of the hippie values instilled in me by my parents. I vote NDP because where I lived the NDP candidate was the best, and federally they support a lot of things I think are necessary parts of living in Canada... Like free health care. Really, the American's are getting more socialized and we are instigating a tiered system?? Because, obviously, only rich people need medical services.

But I digress. Since I vote NDP, as do many of my friends, I've heard a lot about Layton. How he's a sensible leader in a world gone mad, blah blah blah. I don't care how interesting, crazy, or charismatic a politician is, so long as he 1) says the right things and (more importantly) 2) does what he says. I prefer if they don't sleep with little boys, but that's probably the only other condition I have for them. Do your job, do it well, and try to help the rest of the politicians follow your example.

I say this to explain that I don't care about Layton. Or Harper. I liked Cretien because he showed up every day for decades, did the best he could, and never apologized - there are very, very few politicians who can claim even that little. Layton has big dreams, speaks fairly well, tends to stick to his policies, and doesn't come off as much like a hippie psycho as others have, so I never worried much about him either way.

Until I saw his new ad campaign, that is.

There are those who say American politics are more progressive than Canadian - that Kim Campbell was a fluke, that we would never see a black man and a woman competing for Prime Minister. I disagree - we'll have a black man or woman at the top as soon as there is one good enough to earn the position (as Clinton did - but that's a whole other rant). At the end of the day, either way, we've always been able to look at their government, then ours, and say "Bad as our guys are, at least they're not as bad as down South!"

Canadians would never have elected Dubya Bush. Klein is the obvious example held up, yet he was elected not only for his good ol' boy charisma, but for his ability to maintain the status quo - to reduce the impact of politics on the common man - and whatever damage he did within that is moot. As backwards as most make us Albertans out to be, we didn't stick by Klein when he opposed gay marriage and started 'not withstanding' mumblings. We said just what every other Canadian province did... 60% plus don't give a crap what other people do in their own home. Don't kill anyone, don't touch our kids or our land, and you can go sleep with whomever you want. If we wouldn't back up our incredibly well liked and charismatic leader when he wanted to ignore marriage laws, could you imagine us backing a vicious, illegal, and PREEMPTIVE war? Never.

(I digress again). The point is, we KNOW we are better than the Americans, politically. They're bigger, but we're more stable. We have our scandals, and our protester-strangling politicians, but they have those too - bigger, messier, and angrier. Maybe it's the stronger British connection, but still it is a point of national pride that we are the ones who rise above, who are 'the better man,' making the adult decisions. Sure, they're flashier - but we have the important things... Like morals, ethics, practical mindsets. Right?

I've always thought so. I call myself a true Canadian, a nationalist. Hell, I even loved those old "I AM CANADIAN" beer ads - though I didn't much appreciate making it the theme of our graduation year book. Being Canadian is a point of pride - it stands for something. We are the responsible sibling in the North American family... Bending to the will of our wild Southern brother, perhaps, but holding our own at the end of the day. These are qualities I've always loved in our country... Ones which I see disappearing day by day.

Just as Klein slipped into alcoholism, so too is our country slipping. And what I saw today horrified me more than I can say - because it brought home something I've been trying to ignore for far too long. We are human - all countries are run only by men. But somewhere along the lines, those men, those POLITICIANS, are supposed to uphold certain principles and values. The values which define our country.

I'm a realist. I don't expect politicians to be perfect, or even truly uphold those values. But they're supposed to at least FAKE IT.

In Canadian politics, the NDP have always faked it better than anyone else. They tell tales of standing for something. They convince us time and time again of their conviction in their hippie values. And hey, that's okay with me - as long as you have practical applications for those hippie values. After all, some of my best friends are hippies.

So where are those much-touted values now?

Today I watched Jack Layton endorse an attack ad, as bad as any from the American election.

I've watched smear ads become a part of the Canadian election process, same as everyone else. The Americans always did it bigger, meaner, and sneakier (lies aren't lies if they're sort of maybe based on truth, after all!). But Canadian spin doctors couldn't ignore forever the effect smear campaigns have, and this was something I'd sort of come to grips with.

Yet over the past 5 or so years, the ads have remained smears at best - never direct attacks. The only direct ads, in fact, were funded by private organizations: such as the union-sponsored attacks in the last Alberta election. The politicians themselves never 'approved' any truly vicious ads.. In fact, not even any truly NAUGHTY ads. They tried to keep their hands in both pots - gain the advantages of attack campaigns, while still trying to appear the better man. Which was a policy the realist in me could accept.

Times change, techniques shift, and that means political approaches change as well. Yet the point was always to maintain the message, even if you changed the words. To strive for perfection, even if we would never accomplish it. Because I want to vote for the better man, even if he is only better at faking it. Lesser of two evils, I suppose, and all of that.

It's not that I condone anyone pretending to be something they're not... Perhaps a metaphor will help. A guy at the bar stands up and tells everyone you are a pigdog and you sleep with rabbits. I'm not saying you should pretend what he said is fine - obviously, anyone is going to be angry (Even, or rather especially if you DO sleep with rabbits). What I'm saying is you don't run up to the guy while his back is to you and smash his head in with a bottle. You don't wait in the alley outside and have your friends break his legs. There are rules for how to deal with that anger - societal guidelines and scripts for how to be the bigger man. That's precisely the position politicians are in: how do you retaliate for the other guy's bad behaviour and show everyone what an ass HE is, without becoming worse than him in that attack?

Attack ads are the worst, dirtiest, and ugliest kind of politics. Smear campaigns are never a good idea, but they are a reality of our world. Attack ads are the worst form of these, and an unnecessary one.

And now, the important point:

Why didn't we have attack ads like this 5 or even 10 years ago, as the Americans did? Because the Canadian people didn't stand for it. It was concidered gauche, worse. The damage to a politician's reputation for using such dirty politics was much worse than the gain. So they politely veiled their attacks and continued to play along by the normal rules.

So seeing JACK LAYTON - the last, best bastion of fair play in Canadian politics (and bear in mind, I say this despite not being a fan nor even much of a supporter) - whoring his ideals for a mini-attack was not only painful to watch because of the awful production values (Why oh why can Canadians not create anything half as polished as across the border?), but because it represents the deterioration of our morals as a country.

We, who stood for generations as the 'better man', as the ones who stood tall against moral decay... At least a little, at least more so than the Americans. We, who once prided ourselves on our ability to rise above....

We, who have now whored our morals so completely that even the 'good guy' politicians feel it is okay to behave like 8yr old children. The bad kind of 8yr old. The class bully, who steals retainers instead of lunch money... Because it's more fun.

I weep for the future of the nation I so love, and pray that somehow we find our way once more.

((Not the ad I saw, but close enough!))

Forgetting to Hate Hollywood

2008-09-21T19:14:00.006-06:00

OK, first let me preface this blog by saying it is incredibly rare that I discuss a movie right after seeing it. Read: never. I like to let a movie filter through before discussing it - especially ones I like. Yet I was so taken by the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshal" that I am writing this while the credits still play in the background.

Why? Certainly not the Hawaiian version of "Nothing Compares" (though I must say, that's winning big points - hence why the credits are still running!). Nor even because Kristen Bell is fantastic, Russel Brand is one of the funniest men I've ever seen (youtube him, seriously), or because Mila Kunis is the hottest woman ever to make me feel like a pedophile (here's hoping she remains the only one).

Rather, it was the script which so bedazzled me. WHAT? A hollywood script has me ranting in a GOOD way? Yes - because there actually is one, for starters. Of course it follows the 'fill in the blanks' script for every breakup story: *spoiler alert for those with an IQ under 90* Boy loses girl, boy meets new girl, boy learns to respect old girl's new guy, old girl tries to get back together, boy learns his lesson and goes back to new girl. But "with a twist!" (to paraphrase Robot Chicken) - right? Wrong. It's formula to the hilt - he even meets colourful locals who embrace him wholeheartedly and teach him important life lessons.

So, wait, this is confusing - a formulaic plot starring the hottest up-n-comings is GOOD? How is that possible?

Because the hottest up and coming actors aren't picture perfect dolls. OK, ok, Bell and Kunis are but that's a requirement to get into the business - what both women have shown over the years are vapid acting styles concealing biting wit and incredible senses of humour. The two male leads are "hot british rock god," played by the ultimate character comedian and not-so-hottie Russel Brand (god I hope it's a character!), and "the doofus next door" himself, Jason Segel, the wingman from "How I Met Your Mother." I didn't even believe he could get Allison Hannigan in HIMYM, so Kunis is a major stretch --- yet his incredibly sincere character/performance brought me onto his side. Yes, he's 30lbs overweight and probably couldn't do a push up if his life depended upon it. But how many of our men here in the real world can honestly say they're any better off?

I know it's formula to have the nice guy win - MASK, anyone? - but in this case I deem it believable. Because I've dated both types (well, maybe not rockstars, but models and world class DJs) and I came to the same conclusion both women eventually make in this movie. An extra 3olbs and a love of fruit loops aren't the character flaws your grandmother told you they were. Good looking guys are assholes: Russel Brand's rockstar character is ridiculous, surely, but there is so much truth there that it is almost painful. And at the end of the day, good guys do win. Not easily, and certainly not without a fight, but they do win - and that is the model set forward in this movie. Not "gorgeous girl meets ugly guy and falls instantly." Gorgeous girls falls for guys who actually listen to them, instead of staring at their chest. And sometimes for guys who do both.

The formula is a requirement for a good movie - we need structures to build upon. What most Hollywood movies fail to do is to build something strong and true onto the framework set down by the formula. And that, my friends, is what they have done with "Forgetting Sarah Marshal." It is as true to life - with all the pain, snot, and sex therapists - as a Hollywood movie can be. I reccomend it wholeheartedly... Especially for you nice guys looking to connect with that girl who really is just a few too many leagues out of your reach.

___
*Side note: the religious couple having bedroom issues features a woman I plan on keeping an eye on in years to come. She set herself apart from the crowd in "Accepted" as the high-stress Harvard failure Rory, but I knew her and loved her first as Grace's daughter in the final episode of Will and Grace (for those who don't know, Will + Grace's kids are named Ben and Lila in the final episode - hence my love of it). Check her out: Maria Thayer

School Daze

2008-09-16T16:55:00.002-06:00

OK... so...

I'm allergic to the entire province of British Columbia. Or at the very least, the vast majority of Vancouver Island. Which is, shall we say, less than ideal since I am here for 7.5 more months.

hmm. Anyone tried those new allergy shots? Advice welcomed...

In other news, had my first couple of classes today. A lot of our homework has to be done at the CALL lab, which has amazing (drool worthy) equipment and is run by a die hard Oilers fan. So I am happy there :)

Classes were survivable.. I'm not quite up to date with my readings, or assignments, or anything really, but German should be a piece of cake and the rest will come with time and effort. (oh, how I loathe time and effort.)

In all honesty, if I hadn't committed so much time and money to all of this, I'd be back home in Banff sitting on "the beach" with my friends. But what must be, must be, and I am doing my best to embrace the experience. Swollen eyes and all.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

2008-09-14T15:13:00.007-06:00

After two weeks of tests, doctors, and some minor surgery, I am back in BC.

Thanks to Ryan's impenetrable patience and inexhaustible good humour, the experience was actually quite lovely - at least as wonderful as two weeks in and out of doctors' offices can be.

I head to school in a few days - and desperately try to catch up with the 5 classes I missed while away. (Wish me luck).

And, for those dozens of people asking every day - NO, I haven't found a place to live or a job yet. Because, quite frankly, there was more important stuff going on!

Augustus

2008-08-28T16:52:00.010-06:00

So... I've finally had a chance to update the blog. Basically, I've been doing........ Well, nothing. Compared to my usual schedule.

What have I been doing this August? After hiking with my new Dutch friend, Lia, for a week in Banff, I went back country with a friend from the Grand Nature Hiking Club (Rachel Lajoie) for the weekend. We basically went up Norquay Mt, then hiked along the 40mile Creek for about 20km before setting up camp along the creek.

Highlights of the trip: large ass bruises from my ill-fitting pack, feeding the poorly provisioned Rachel, discovering our "trail" was actually a commercial horse path (NEVER AGAIN), 700 billion mosquitoes, scaring myself stupid getting lost on the way back to my tent (despite TWO lights!) and almost ending up in the river. It was incredible, the views were breathtaking, and I loved it. However, my wrist injury from earlier in the week became horribly swollen and sore - to the point where I could no longer lift my own pack - so I was forced to skip my second trip later in the week to Llewellyn Lake.

Instead, I returned to Edmonton where I did a little work for Terry Bourque's studio, as well as helping Janis Dow with some of her planning to expand into her own company. No professional photos, but good fun was had by all!

Somehow made it to BC, with most of my stuff (Greyhound lost one bag, still not located as I write this), and moved in with my godparents in Oak Bay temporarily. The house hunt has been ridiculous -- Banff was easier (and generally cheaper) for rent. I am incredibly frustrated. The job hunt's not much (any) better. Many resumes have gone out, but nothing has come back yet. Fingers crossed for some interesting positions to come.

Then, fun news from my doctor's -- my Alberta insurance wouldn't cover the specialists I needed to see SO I ended up having to run off to Banff (with 1 hour's notice!) where my insurance is valid. Bad timing and long waitlists mean that even with begging and pleading my way up the lists I won't be back in Victoria until late into the second week of school... so wish me luck on my return! I have all of my textbooks with me here in Banff, and am studying when I'm not panicking about this terrible start to the school year....

But then, such is life!

LCN and the post-event (BANFF!)

2008-07-31T17:56:00.004-06:00

The Leonard Cohenites Festival was a great success.

While we didn't have as many international participants as we'd like, the concerts were all fantastic and well attended. The hospitality room and the non-concert activities (my side of the festival) also went very well... With no major SNAFUs or emergencies.

Micheal Dorsey, brother of a friend of mine and friend of Cohen and the Sisters of Mercy (back in the 60's, of course), managed to attend and lead a tour to the SOM house - as well as rocking out at the open mike.

I also sang a few songs at the open mike - and was even filmed/interviewed for television!

Highlights included the band Monsieur Camembert from Australia and Carla Anderson. Tho, needless to say, every performer was brilliant - and sadly, I could not see every performance.

---

On to Banff!

Of the original 10 participants for the Banff trip, only myself and the lovely Lia (from the Netherlands) ended up attending. However, we more than made up for the lack of people with the amount of fun!

Highlights included hiking and getting trashed at the Open Mike wednesday at HI Hostel -- Always my favourite hangout here in town, and always a party.

We are also - strangely enough - staying in the exact same room (and bed) that I stayed in when I first moved to Banff in September! Life is strange and circular....

Lia heads back to the land of her birth this saturday, while I head out into the back country with my friend Rachel. I will be in and out of the bush for the rest of the week, before returning to Edmonton for the weekend ... And then -- on to Victoria!!

(((Pics and links to LCN events and whatnot will be posted on the cohenites blog -- http://www.cohenites.blogspot.com/ -- in about 10 days)))

Photo Maddness

2008-07-21T10:47:00.009-06:00

In addition to preparing for the LCN festival (2years of planning clearly wasn't enough), I have been working full time the past few weeks on photography. Leaving no time for packing or seeing friends, of course.

I've had a great time expanding my glamour and pin up portfolio - lots of fun models and great shoots. Special thanks to Shelley Vickers, a makeup artist who came all the way up from Calgary to save my buns when I had THREE (count 'em, 3!) make up artists flake on me this week. Argh.

The sessions will be posted properly in the future, but for now - a taste!

The Chainmail bodybuilder (above): April

In the blue: Sabine.

The chainmail hunk (right): Ron.

The goofy Viking (left): Mark - note the paintball bruise!

Sexy blonde: Shelley (yes, my saviour from Calgary - she's a hottie as well as an MUA!)

Updates in E-town

2008-07-10T23:50:00.004-06:00

I have seen all my favourite streetfest people - well, at least the ones back this year - and it was bittersweet. I feel very much the outsider. A well loved outsider, depending on who I'm talking to, but still an outsider. Which is fine because, at the end of the day, I am. And that's okay, too :) So long as Vinyl still meets me for drinks whenever he's in the country ;)

On a sadder note, I recently learned that an associate of mine passed this year. Not a friend, persay, but we'd worked together. He was crazy as a loon, and not particularly well liked, but I remember him fondly for his talent, and the sweetness + honest gratitude he always showed me. As I hear it, he passed quietly in his sleep quite unexpectedly. Would that we could all go so gracefully. He will remain, to me at least, proof that being mad as a hatter isn't always a bad thing.

Now, to lighten the mood ... Sleeping with someone causes you to acquire their skills. Discuss. :P I see a fantastic comic book spin off - superhero succubi? SF groupies going home with more than just syphillis? I leave it to you, the world, to develop this to its full potential!

The End of a (mini) Era

2008-06-26T19:48:00.013-06:00

I'm officially leaving Banff this weekend :(

As much as I've loved my time here, life calls and I must answer. I will be in Edmonton June 30-July 28th. The last week of that period will be spent almost exclusively making sure the party continues at the Leonard Cohen Nights Festival at the Westin Hotel. (Check out our blog - it's going to be amazing!).

I've had to cancel my trip to Florida, but the good news is that has left me open for more bookings in Edmonton - about 23, at last count! So if you're looking for a session before I leave for the winter... Book now or forever hold your peace.

I am still waiting to register for my courses at UVic (argh) and looking for an apartment near the Uni campus. (double argh). However, I am excited for the million opportunities awaiting me! Cést la vie, and all that.

The last week has been pretty heartbreaking. A lot of people have expressed their saddness to see me go, and this outpouring of good vibes has really choked me up. I know it is time for me to move on, but I am going to miss all my Banffites and good times.

An example of the sweet natured

goodbyes I have been getting: one of my coworkers at Naturél Tea Shoppe, a recent Japanese immigrant who speaks next to no english, bought me two "longing heart" flowering teas as a goodbye present. Since she didn't have the words to say properly that she would miss me, she bought me the tea equivalent - and labelled it "Longing Heart for Lira" :D

Wonderful people, these Banffites, and I shall miss them all! *HUGS*

---

For those who wish to know, the first picture is my ex-roommate, Matt, from Australia. This picture was taken by Jen Snow while the three of us were partying at reknowned gay bar "Crews" in Toronto early this June. The second picture is Ryan, the massage therapist at Body Concepts. It was taken by his cousin while we were rocking out to one of his favourite bands at East Coast Mondays (A "Rose and Crown" staple of live music lovers here in Banff).

Projects

2008-05-17T13:11:00.006-06:00

Time to talk about two of the major projects I'm working on at the moment...

First, Chain mail! No, not the annoying letters you have to forward or risk a plague of bad luck + unhappy lovers.... Rather, the metallic armour. I am still trying to find models for an early July shoot, if anyone is interested. There are 'clothing' style pieces and jewellry/gauntlets, etc, so don't panic if you don't want to end up in the bikini from last summer's pics :P We are looking for male or female models, with a preference for dark skin if possible. Send me an email if you are available and interested - froghaven@gmail.com

Second, lazy people can cook too! That's right, if I learned how so can you... My mother and I are working on a celiac cookbook. We're hoping to get most of the work done this fall, but I made a sample image to help us sell our query to publishers. Basically, we're going to simplify the cooking + lifestyle changes for a gluten-free lifestyle, but we want to make the cookbook appeal to non-celiac's as well. It's going to have multiple variations of recipes, and a difficulty listing for each, to show how you can take what you know and turn it into a more varied diet. (No more Mr. Noodle!) We're also hoping to juxtapose my version of a recipe with mom's - the sample is of this idea. Although, the images are not mine and I basically just faked the whole thing, so it's totally useless.... Oh well, pretty pictures!

Hoodoo Trail, Banff

2008-05-16T21:36:00.003-06:00

OK, last night I went out and had a little too much fun. Fair enough, it's Banff dammit + I haven't gone out drinking since my birthday.

Anywho, this morning was not as much fun as last night. I seem to have lost my ability to sleep off drunkeness and now wake up in that awful mid-state of half-drunk half-hungover. ugh. So I packed a bag and went for a hike.

I chose the Hoodoo Trail, which starts at one end of tunnel and runs aaaaalllll the way around to the other end. (Tunnel is sort of shaped like a person sleeping on their side.... big bulge at the top for the shoulders/stomach/ass, then tappering down to a very long but shallow part for the legs). Hoodoo is nice + incredibly popular (especially with mountainbikers, as I learned today), but I'd only ever found the time to do the first third before (pics from that in sept are posted on facebook somewhere... Remember a girl in the trees backlit by golden sunlight? those are 'em).

Because we've had such a dry year, and the rivers haven't come up to summer height yet, I was able to walk over a third of the trail actually IN riverbeds. Super cool. The melting ice there was insane... It's little shard things that only look like a solid block of ice. I'll try to get pics with my real camera later this week.

The trail ends at a large rock slope just past the hoodoos (ok, so MY trail ended there - the real trail was apparently quite far away from me). There, I sat on a small rock spit soaking my hot little tootsies in the gorgeous and suprisingly warm river while I ate my lunch. YUM.

I cannot describe to you how beautiful this spot is. It's the convergence of a number of small rivers, including the Bow, and where I was sitting is almost like a small lake, with tonnes of sun drenched spits for picnicers (I saw about 10 other hikes in the hour I was there).

I then climbed up the clay/sand cliff below the hoodoos to get a better look at them.... Because I'm an idiot. It's a bit like climbing a scree slope... which is also something you should never do. Basically, you HAVE to keep moving, because if you slow down even for a second the surface your feet are on starts to fall down the cliff, bringing you with. Now, it's not a very steep cliff, but it is QUITE tall and there's nothing but a few pricky bushes and river at the bottom. Not exactly something I'd like to fly into at 100mph. Well, not unless it was on purpose.

I did survive the climb intact, though my knees officially hate me and I somehow bruised the tip of my left ring finger (random and totally annoying!). The hoodoos are amazing, especially when viewed from below. They were impossibly cool for the dead-of-summer heat we experienced today. Definitely take a moment to scope them out if you're in town... only do it the smart way and climb down to them from the tourist path, which is vaguely safe, and not up to them like I did (idiot).

Such a wonderful hike + a perfect way to refocus myself (and dissuade my hangover from really incapacitating me). I did manage to take a few pictures, as you can see, but they are with the camera phone of death and do not even begin to capture the beauty there. Basically, if 100% is the real experience, then these pics capture maybe 15%. But they make a sweet background for my phone! :P Cheers, folks, and make sure to get out and enjoy this glorious weather!!

Updates, Shmupdates! Hamilton and beyond...

2008-05-15T17:58:00.006-06:00

OK, so I officially fail on updating this blog. I blame:

1) the new website - go check it out at http://www.froghaven.ca/

2) that damned facebook - all my photo news is now updated easily on there, so I forget to blog. Check it out at http://www.facebook.com/pages/FrogHaven-Photography/23398712680

3) the official emergence of ""Strangley Erotic Photography"-- a name I've unofficially worked under for about 2 years, which I have decided to develop into a full imprint by itself. SE will feature my fine art nude + fantasy work (I call it the "naughty but nice" collection), leaving FrogHaven to the more mundane (and less likely to offend anyone) travel + portrait photography. Check it out at http://www.facebook.com/pages/SE-Photography/14586722564 (official website to be released in the next 2 months).

4) my 5 jobs, especially FrogHaven which has been my main source of income for the past 4 months. (go FH!). In the last month I have been contacted for projects ranging from a massive order of archive images (official "for purchase" archives to be released in an online album in about 6 weeks!), to websites (who knew I would end up doing so many sites?), to commercial shoots for a condom-based company! FH also had prints in the Mother's Day Art Show at the Victoria Legion. (Yes, Fiona, you + your guitar made the cut -- and the print was purchased by a senior in a leather motorcycle vest! LOL)

5) my bad mood the past month. I had some very upsetting news last month, about a week after breaking up with my boyfriend, and as always things seemed to stack up on each other. However, with the snow finally gone + a climbing partner for my last few weeks in Banff, things are looking up! My improvement in mood may be related to all the extra vitamin D (or simply my 4hrs a week at the Candy shoppe! mmm cheap candy), but whatever the reason I am moving onwards and upwards!

SO now that I have explained my long absence from blogging, some news and availability updates:

As a reward for my work with the Leonard Cohen Nights Festival (http://www.leonardcohennights.org/) I have been offered free tickets to see Cohen in Hamilton the first week of June! I have decided to take about 10 days off of work, so I can attend the monthly LCN meeting + do some portraits (June 1 + 2 if you want to sign up for a session!) in Edmonton before I go. My childhood friend, Jennifer Snow, will be joining me for the concert and about 4 days of general frolicking in Toronto -- an excellent opportunity to finally see the girl, after almost a year! Since she has made it into a prestigious law school exchange program to Amsterdam this fall, this will be my last chance to see her until she graduates. Well, actually, later than that because.....

I am planning to go back to University this fall. When I left the UofA 5 years ago, I promised myself I would go back to study linguistics when feasible. I have decided to postpone my career another year in order to spend some time in Victoria, spending time with my aging grandparents and reconnecting with my mother's side of the family. I have been very blessed in having the opportunity to become very close to my great grandparents on my mom's side, and grandparents on my father's side. Faced with the very real possibility of not getting the same opportunity with my mother's parents, I have decided to tough it out in Victoria for a year. While I am there, I plan to work towards a Humanities Diploma. It should be amazing! Anyone know any good photographers or galleries in Victoria that are hiring? :)

I will be back in Edmonton by the end of June: starting July 23rd, I will be working as the hospitality coordinator for the Leonard Cohen Nights Festival! Following the fest, on July 28th, I will be returning to Banff for a small mini-event as part of the LCN fest --- basically, a week of hiking + partying. (I know, my life is so hard). I may choose to stay in Banff for another week or two, hiking + camping, or I may leave at the beginning of August to set up camp in Victoria. (Anyone know someone in Vic with a bed to lend me until res opens on the 29th?)

So, I will be available for projects in Edmonton June 1 + 2, July 1-3 + July 11-27th. Calgarians - try early August! Maybe you'll get lucky :P

*phew!* I think that's it! I am also working on a number of projects right now, including a cookbook, but I will post more about those at a later date. For now, that should get all my lovely blogger stalkers off my back + back on track! :D Have a great summer and make sure to get out in that glorious sun!!

FrogHaven Photography

2008-04-08T21:58:00.004-06:00

Check out our new official photography site! http://www.froghaven.ca/

Galleries, pricelists, info and more! Keep an eye out for updates + availability.

Back in Black! ...I mean, Banff...

2008-03-18T17:49:00.003-06:00

Well, I somehow survived E-town and am now back in my beloved Banff. Still looking for steady work here, but I recieved amazing news from my LCN cohorts - they are sending me to Toronto in June to see Leonard Cohen himself, live! Excitement!!

Meanwhile, I managed to sneak a couple of portrait sessions in while wasting away in Edmonton. The unedited images are available at:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=28489&l=67dff&id=557616550

Final (edited) images are posted at the beginning of the album, or check out the FrogHaven facebook group for more details and contests:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=8850136908

The Fantasy Portrait contest winners were: Fionne Lianne, Danica Lawson, Krishna Tailor, and Chris P Kirk. More contests will be held in coming months, so keep your eyes peeled for new posts! (I promise to try to be more proactive on this posting things, but I'm a busy lady!)

E-Town Hijix

2008-02-27T11:31:00.003-07:00

Hi Everyone,

I didn't manage to get out skiing or hiking before leaving Banff... Or at least, not photographing while traipsing about. I climbed Sulfur a few days before my birthday (about a 4-5hr hike from my house to the peak and back, since I cheated and didn't climb down). I injured my right hip significantly during this extended uphill hike, which was made all the more difficult by (very!) small avalanches and other debris making the trail quite a bit different from a summer climb.

Personally, I thought it was a fine climb and my hip healed quite quickly, but the doctors gave me a tongue lashing and told me to tone it down a bit. So no more hiking or photographs before I left. However, I did get images from a Johnston Canyon hike back at the beginning of November and have posted them on facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=28007&l=17bfc&id=557616550

(Please keep in mind that these were taken with a $10 drugstore camera ... which leaked light over half the images. UGH).

Edmonton Edmonton Edmonton

2008-02-16T16:16:00.003-07:00

I will be in Edmonton for two or three weeks, working at TB Photo - the photo studio I worked with last year. One of the partners is leaving for a few weeks and has asked me to cover for her...

So, if you want to see me, or make fun of me for coming back so soon, or even offer me a place to sleep while I'm there, you know the routine.

What else is new? I have been hired to update the website for the Leonard Cohen Nights Society. As many of you already know, I am the hospitality coordinator for the 2008 event. As this position has expanded, I've taken on the creation of a new blog for event details -- cohenites.blogspot.com However, the mainsite has remained the same for far too long so the board has decided to hire me to update and upkeep both sites. Look forward to many more changes, releases, and tonnes of event information in coming weeks! For now, check out the new mainpage design at www.leonardcohennights.org

I've developed a habit for losing things, like my favourite jacket and gloves, as well as getting mocked by doctors (apparently doing a 4hr vertical climb is bad for you when you're used to prairie flatness... who'd'a thunk it?). My birthday party in Edmonton was fantastic - thank you to all you wonderful people who came out for a good time at the Red Star pub. Anyone who didn't make it out.... well, you have three weeks to make it up to me, don't you?

Enjoy the new sites. I will try to get at least one good hike/shoot in before I leave for Edmonton... this time without the trip to the doctor's afterwards :)

Broken Camera Photos (updates from January)

2008-01-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

For those of you not on Facebook, all my recent pictures are up in an album called "Broken Camera Pics" which is dedicated to my dear friend, Wayne, and his love of blurry, out of focus, and generally ridiculous photos. (I luvs ya, Wayne, but it's true. Cameron was a crazy person, and idolizing her doesn't change that!) The pictures are available here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=20944&l=edd05&id=557616550

Obviously, I am not such a big lover of blurry pics, but with my camera broken I don't have as many options as I'd like. So I am learning to embrace the options left to me. I photographed part of Sulfur Mountain, near the Rimrock Hotel and the view from Tunnel Mountain this past week, most of which are included in this album.

They were excellent hikes, and the weather (until very recently) has been absolutely fantastic up here. Even though I am supposed to stay out of direct sunlight, thanks to a new medication, I keep giving in to the lure of the Rockies. I plan on going cross country skiing this weekend, so hopefully the new album will include these images as well. For now, all my time is spent in the great search for a new job but I plan on enjoying my last remaining days of freedom as much as possible.

Have a great week!

Updates, Shmupdates

2008-01-08T15:11:00.000-07:00

Hola, everyone. I've been hassled to update the site but the truth is, there's not much to post. I've taken the past month off completely, relaxing and getting back to baseline. The only major excitement in my life over the past few weeks was the Mountain Pride Christmas Party, (which was awesome -- I had a lot of fun getting to meet members of the local community. Plus, pasta!), and a couple of friends came up just before New Years to go skiing and crash on my couch. The result of that visit was a level of inebriation I have not achieved in many, many months. Good times all round, though next time it might be nice to get a call BEFORE they come to Banff... As opposed to an hour before they want to crash here. :P

I've been putting off my trip to Edmonton for weeks, but will finally submit tomorrow for the monthly LCN meeting. The truth is, I really like it here. I can going hiking or cross country skiing any day (or at least any day that I wake before noon), the scenery is always stunning, and the weather actually goes above zero once in awhile. It's a brave new world for me.

I will update once I've picked a new job and settled in a bit. For now, I'm fairly happy and healthy, not quite in tears about money, and enjoying the wonders of the Rockies. :D

Updates Updates

2007-12-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

I have quit my job at Snowflake. I was miserable and didn't fit in at all. I pretty much realised it wasn't going to work when I showed up for the staff meeting my usual clothes - hiking boots, plain jeans, a technical T and an arc'teryx sweater - when everyone else was wearing (at the least) what I would consider business casual clothing... Working day in and day out in suits, I couldn't wait to get into my real clothes, but these women actually dressed like this when they had a choice. Definitely from a different world than mine.

Many people have asked if I'm moving back to Edmonton now. The answer is "No." I moved up to Banff without a job, and I remain confident I can find employment here. In fact, I've already turned down excellent job offers (mostly due to my July commitments in Edmonton). I plan on looking for a short contract with one of the local events management companies, or I will take freelance contracts doing photography editing with any of the two dozen photo studios here in the valley.

Edmonton holds nothing for me, except for a few dozen good friends and the occasional trip to the Red Star. If I don't find work I enjoy in Banff, I still have 6 months until my contracts in Edmonton, so I can go pretty much anywhere my pocketbook will take me. (Sadly, I've already had to turn down one offer in Germany - learn the language, THEN move there! Not the other way around.) I miss living in Halifax very much, so worst comes to worst I will go hassle Jen for a few months. There are about six million photo studios is Halifax, and I've partied with many of the owners, so work should be no problem.

I do miss all of my friends in Edmonton, but I visit regularly. I wish I felt now what I felt as a child moving to Alberta -- the awe and wonder at the great, simple beauty of the plains. I certainly loved living in downtown Edmonton, and I definitely plan to travel around Alberta at some point on a photo quest, but I am no longer 5 years old and staring wide-eyed at a world of simple beauty. I'm not even 17 anymore, too busy trying to piece my life together to notice the world around me. I am too old and too tired for Edmonton - best I leave it to the younger crowd, and go in search of a new universe to inspire and elate me.

Billy Idol Rocks My World

2007-11-29T14:49:00.002-07:00

New Phone Number

2007-11-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

I am now reachable at : 1-403-431-3648

As Jennifer has already pointed out, yes I am now a traitor - returning to my native 403 area code despite the horrors of having it stolen from us years ago. But I think I'm over it. Plus I save a couple hundred a month. So *thbbbbbpt*

I will be restarting FrogHaven in the coming weeks, so check this site and the pro site regularly for updates of services if you are looking for me to do some work.

-L

The Green Dragons

2007-11-19T16:09:00.000-07:00

In response to the half dozen people who've asked (and the dozen others who clearly wanted to but didn't think it was worth the effort of an email) NO I did not draw the green dragon images. I which I had! They are just random images, because I am a random person. I only know one person capable of such drawings (you know you rock, Denby) and sadly they are not even stolen from him.

So stop complimenting me on my newly discovered artistic talent... I'm still the same old schlub.

:(

Long time no type...

2007-11-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been this long since I blogged! I worked three weeks with only one day off, so any free time I've had lately has been spent doing anything but work. My first day off was this wednesday, and I spent it continuing my mastery of the ps2 and eating teribly unhealthy foods. OK, unhealthy for me, which means I had a couple chocolate bars and a salad. Whoo! I'm such a rebel.

I have spent the last few weeks... well, working, obviously. I have also decided to return part time to FrogHaven, my photography company, and will begin to offer online services in a few weeks. (Once my computer is up and running).

I have news! I plan on returning to University next fall (after a 5 year hiatus). Right now, it looks like I will be attending UVic for about 2 years, earning a Humanities Diploma, specialising in German. Wish me luck :)

More details on everything to come once my computer is up and running finally. -Lila

Hike-tastic

2007-10-24T23:07:00.000-06:00

I am feeling great again, thanks to a sudden reduction in licorice quantities being consumed. I am still indulging in the occasional Chinese fast food binge, but I never said I had much willpower. :)

I've been hiking along the paths near my house this week. They are all very simple - one is even paved! - but they will be EXCELLENT cross country skiing trails when the snow finally sticks (yay Chinooks). I am planning on checking out x-country skis when I'm in Edmonton on the 8th. Who thought I'd ever go back onto skis after the great fall of '98? ;) My Oma would be so proud...

The paved trail leads up from Cave and Basin. That site alone is worth the trip (it's just off the main road, at the head of the Sundance trail). I knew, of course, that there were internment camps during the first world war - I didn't realize that the people interned here were used as cheap labour to build much of the infrastructure now the basis for the huge tourism trade in the Rockies. They built this park on the backs of improperly imprisoned men. Crazy history - the kind of thing you never expect to find in Canada. Though, of course, we all know what the railroads were build on.... the bones of the thousands of Chinese immigrants who died trying complete it. We Canadians are not quite as pure as we'd like to believe.

The trail leaves Cave and Basin, moving through the marshes along the bow river just above Banff, then stretching along its banks for about an hour's hike. At the top of this paved trail is Sundance Canyon, a picnic area and hiking trail. The hike is about a 2 mile loop, leading up right alongside a small river which has cut its way between mountain peaks, tumbling boulders as it went. The boulders make some very beautiful waterfalls -- I almost cried when I realized I didn't have a camera to capture it to share with all of you. About halfway up the vertical part of the river there a is a collection of large boulders which have formed a small cave just large enough for me to stand up in at the entrance, low enough I can fit only my sitting hunched over at the back.

It began to rain as I started the final loop and I remembered the difference between water proof and water resistant about halfway through. The hike is fairly mild after the river section - pine forest, a nice view of the valley, but it was all obscured by the rain. (Invigorating trail running in the rain!) After finishing the loop, I was not looking forward to another hour and a half walking home soaking wet, so I climbed into the cave. The cave is almost triangular, as there is a large boulder forming a sort of wall along one side. This stone is tall and flat, but doesn't quite reach the "roof" rock, so it was perfect for laying out my wet coats. I sat on a stone at the entrance, warm and dry watching the rain, and began to eat the lunch I'd brought with me. As I ate, the rain began to turn into snow.

I stood at the entrance of the cave with enormous wet snowflakes the size of my palm falling mere inches from my face. Looking up, the cliffs on either side of me were obscured by the sudden blizzard - I was trapped in a world of soft white. Below me stretched the still raging river, the ancient looking footbridges and their stone steps slowly being buried beneath the snow. Somehow everything felt... right. I felt as if this cave could protect me from anything - I was standing in a blizzard, less than a hands breadth from the freezing cold, but I was warm and dry, protected from the harshness of the world by rocks older than my race.

This is why I live in Banff.

After half an hour, about the time I finished my lunch, the snow abated. I stepped out into 3 inch deep snowbanks, moving carefully on the cut stone steps. Amazing how well they work even in wet conditions - much safer than wooden stairs. I was at a fairly safe part of the climb, so with caution there was no danger in climbing down. Thanks to the joys of altitude, by the time I reached the paved road once more it was free of snow - drenched black with the moisture, but safe and clean once more. The air was rich with the freshness of a recent rainfall, so bright and clear I wanted to skip all the way home. Across the river, the mountains were still drenched in clouds and snow, but I had somehow come out just behind the storm. I followed the snow all the way back into town, the clouds breaking behind me to reveal the bright blue sky of a summer day.

It was pitch black by the time I returned home, dry and warm. My only regret is that my camera could not make the journey with me. But I promise I will return... again and again.

Soooo long away from the web...

2007-10-17T23:06:00.001-06:00

The router was down here at the hostel last week, so I had to survive with no internet for two weeks and managed.... well, actually I managed fine. It was eerie. Perhaps there is the possibility of happiness in a non-wired world?

I did, however, get fantastically drunk with a couple of British sappers (that's "engineers" for those of us who haven't shacked up with one). I have since learned the joys of wearing Tuesday panties on a Thursday, and a plethora of new dirty slang phrases (why are guys in the UK so obsessed with teaching Canadian girls new dirty slang? Perhaps because our own dirty words are so... well, harmless? Oprah's "Va-jay-jay" for instance...).

What's new?

Well, I've been feeling kind of crappy and having trouble getting going in the mornings. I'd decided to replace my gum addiction (since gum isn't allowed at work) with licorice... Unfortunately, I completely forgot my friend vala's warning that licorice contains wheat. So I've been slowly poisoning myself for a couple of weeks. GAH

I also forgot my keys at home the other night, and didn't realize until a quarter after 10pm... When I had to call my manager and have her taxi a key to me. Humiliating to the utmost. I was more together at 18, dealing with all of James' shit and running subway on zero sleep! However, my lovely (and soon to be ex-) roommate said something which oddly enough made everything better. He told me, "you're allowed to be fallible."

Anyone who has met me will know I don't do fallible very well... But it was more than that. I realized the kind of person I was making myself into, insisting on perfection. I remembered all those years of 110% on exams and how little they meant. And I feel like a weight has been lifted. So thank you, Tanner, for reminding me of who I was -- and why I am fighting so hard to change.

Hiking tomorrow!! Hopefully on friday as well. I have a friend from Edmonton visiting on Kareoke night (whoo hoo!) so I plan on a full weekend.... Updates to follow next wednesday :D

Green Dragon images... because they rock.

2007-10-04T19:31:00.001-06:00

Finally Well

2007-09-30T21:38:00.000-06:00

I am feeling amazing...

My cold (and related health issues) has finally cleared up. I am eating better than I ever have, fresh fruit every day. Helps that the supermarket it mostly organic, open til midnight, and on my way home from work. Plus I only have a bar fridge so my usual "freeze em all and let god sort em out" plan doesn't really work. I want to run all the way to work most mornings.

It snowed, really snowed, two days ago but perfectly -- a light dusting everywhere, not too cold, bright sunlight and foggy clouds lifting as the day progressed, leaving the mountains wrapped in the white snow like postcards waiting to be snapped...

I went for a run just before the snow started to fall. Wearing only my light workout gear, I tore down the trail along the bow river, stopping where the water spills across a low, flat area covered in smooth river rocks. I plunged my hands into the rippling crystal waters - ice cold, almost glacial. Somehow my circulation disease seems to be improving here... The ice waters didn't send my body into the usual over reactions of impending doom. I simply laughed and hiked back to town, letting the bright sunlight dry my hands as I walked. It began to rain just as I entered town and the rain ended as soon as I'd had a cup of tea and bit of a rest. Perfection.

I feel so much more in tune with myself and the world itself, here in Banff. Outside the city, outside my usual universe. It's like being 10 years old again, and anything is possible.

Wish me luck with the potential promotion period I've now entered......

And check out the CELL PICS: (Still no computer so no real pictures yet - updated at least once a week)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=13039&l=cdc80&id=557616550

Back in Black... I mean, Banff!

2007-09-26T22:49:00.001-06:00

Maybe it's the sultry rock sounds of the hostel's weekly Jam Night giving my posts a hard rock taste, or maybe I'm just craving a bit more rock n roll in my sadly empty life, but either way I am... Back in Banff, that is, not in black. (Red and orange, tonight!)

Whew! What a weekend. Ended up spending my first night in Edmonton at a friend of a friend's place (Chris, seriously why are you so nice? I think you are better to me than the friends who introduced us! Stop being so nice to me, durnit!!). Woke to a beautiful view of the sun rising over the river valley, only to be sorely disappointed because the view lacked mountains. Guess they've gotten under my skin already.

LCN festival was interesting. I preferred last year's reincarnation, but nothing can top Cohen sung with a country twang... Weirdness beyond weirdness.

Back to Banff on Sunday, only to have 2/3 of all my possessions lost somewhere in the transition between Calgary and Banff. Everything has sicne been located (slightly worse for wear), but I am loathe to trust the greyhound system again.

Working, sick, trying to find time to hike... Basically, everything is back to normal. Will try to update more regularly -- and have more to update about! -- but it is difficult when the interweb is a 50min walk away from my house, and I work all day.

Thanks to all the lovely people who gave me hugs and well wishes in Edmonton. See you all again soon! --Lila

Edmonton

2007-09-20T16:38:00.000-06:00

1) Getting on a bus at 9pm sucks.
2) Getting off of it at 6am sucks more
3) 8 hours for a trip which only takes 5 normally sucks the most

Won't be travelling to E-town much anymore, I'm afraid. My consititution isn't what it used to be! The good news is my hearing test went well this morning - I am about half deaf on the right side now, but no damage to the left side yet! That means I only need to get a referal to have a microscope stuck in my ear again (a BIG one), convince the specialist not to chop my ear off, and then I can get a hearing aid! :D

I am in Edmonton until Sunday, helping out a little at Terry Bourque's studio and enjoying the Leonard Cohen Nights events (www.leonardcohennights.org). Wish me luck for the trip home! *zzzzzzzzzz

YAY Job!

2007-09-12T19:16:00.000-06:00

I have an update from the world of Snowflake (the store, not the cold wet thing, though we did get some of that this morning,too). I sold my first jacket today!

To give you an idea of what a big deal this is, once I sell a jacket I have to mark it on the insurance sheets, call the manager and tell her, and call head office and tell them. Technically, I think I only have to do the first part but it's a small company.... :P To give you a better idea what this entails, that single jackets was almost my sales budget on an average day at Coast Mountain.

So... Go me! Too bad I'm too sick to party, but I do plan on celebrating. :D

I left my heart (and the feeling in my left foot) in Banff

2007-09-11T21:05:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's been a week since I posted already! Wow.

So much has happened... I climbed Sulfur Mountain, hiked Lake Minnewanka, got a place to live (go hippie landlord!), and just finished my second day of work. Not to mention the stuff you don't want available to read online ;)

I am still living at the hostel, but will be moving into my new pad on Sulfur Mnt very soon. The new place is tiny; single bed, dresser, small desk, BEER FRIDGE, my own shower/bathroom and entrance. But each of the common rooms is as big as my old apartment. There are 5 couches in the main living room! Once I get my computer sent out and hooked up, I will have interweb access once more and will not have to internet cafe anymore. (whoot~)

I am working at Snowflake, a Canadian owned high end leather and fur store. I am a sales rep, working at base pay plus commission, but there is an assistant manager position opening up, so wish me luck! I am rocking that furry casbah -- So far I am picking up the info super fast, really getting a feel for the store. AND I sold my first item today! OK, it was only a $160 rabbit earband, but concidering how slow it was today I was massively impressed that I sold anything. Plus the guy said he mainly bought it because he thought I was awesome, which is always good for the ego.

I'm almost out of time, and need to get to bed ASAP (early mornings, early worms, something along those lines), but I will post details and pics of my hiking fun very soon. BTW, grown men with amazingly hot scottish accents (who thought Scottish accents could be sexy? And almost more so than Irish!) who ask for their 'jumpers' are hilarious. (Yes, I know a jumper is a sweater in the UK but tell that to the part of me which giggles like a little girl everytime they say it).

Pics soon, I promise. -L

Banff-orama

2007-09-03T17:44:00.000-06:00

Thanks again to everyone for their well-wishes.

I arrived in Banff two days later than I'd hoped to, so I have only been here since Sunday night. The hostel is a lot of fun... The people I shared my room with last night were lots of fun, the atmosphere is terrific, and the welcome package came with both a condom AND lube! Whoo hoo! plus three pamphlets on where to get tested for STIs. Clearly this is my kind of hostel! ;)

For those of you pestering me for details, I have a number of interviews lined up but have not accepted any jobs yet. I actually roomed with the girl who took a job I turned down! I am particularly interested in a job at Canada House gallery (www.canadahouse.com) and have already had a phone interview for the position. However, they will not officially offer me the job until I have a place to live, so cross your fingers for me everyone!

I am also interviewing at a sports store similar to Coast Mountain among others. The big concern at this moment is a place to live, as my time at the hostel runs out on the 16th. I also need a job which will allow me to head up to Edmonton on the 20th, as I must return for the Leonard Cohen festival. (This will be my final year on the Board of Directors but I will be taking over the hospitality suite for the international event next July -- the first time any Leonard Cohen event has featured a hospitality suite!).

Hope that fills in some of the blanks for all of you. I will update once a job and home are found. --L

Banff Pics (finally)

2007-08-31T15:12:00.002-06:00

Images from BNMI Interactive Screen 0.7 -- Banff, AB Aug 2007

Chain Mail

2007-08-31T15:04:00.001-06:00

Images from a recent shoot of chain mail and other metal artwork.

Images

2007-08-21T14:38:00.001-06:00

Banff images will be loaded soon. For now, a special thanks to Doug M. for posting pics from the recent Street Fest on my guest book. The painted image is from the after party on the first night I was body painted as part of the festival. The second he caught as I pondered something clearly fascinating... It's not often I like an image of myself with my freckles and broken nose so clearly visible, so thank you Doug for capturing me. MWAH!

Banff Vocal Video

2007-08-21T13:33:00.001-06:00

http://transvolation.blogspot.com/2007/08/playing-stairwell-at-bnmi.html
An incredible experience made even more incredible by the lovely work done on this video. Definately worth a watch! (or three).

The main blog link is: http://transvolation.blogspot.com/

Banff-tastic

2007-08-14T17:22:00.000-06:00

Thank you all for your emails/facebooks/guestbook notes responding to my move to Banff. I am having a fantastic time, making lots of new friends, making headway on finding a place to live, and being completely inspired by both the scenery and the people here. I will be back in Edmonton on the 20th.

Official Blog Launch

2007-08-13T19:04:00.000-06:00

Sunday August 12, this blog was officially launched on my facebook account and via email. Previously, only a select few were able to view or comment on this site - now, I expect you all too! So come one, come all, and explore this site.

Currently, the major pages of interest are the photo galleries (links at left) and the "official story" blogs (check labels, bottom left). The Official Story is the label for any blog entries specifying details of my sites, life, or basically clearing up the gossip.

Hope to hear lots of feedback from all of you~
-L

Edmonton Availability

2007-08-08T13:45:00.000-06:00

I will (tentatively) be in Edmonton:
August 20th to 30th
September 21st to 23rd

Subscribe for Photo Updates

2007-08-08T13:43:00.002-06:00

Please note, you can subscribe to my image galleries by double clicking any of the galleries on my sites or going to http://3794626832.slide.com/ On my profile page, or below the list of other galleries when you are viewing images on slide.com, there is a box called "Are you a fan?" Type your email address in the box below. This should only send you emails when I add a new gallery or image - you will not receive any spam.

Remember, all my blogs have RSS feeds as weel - subscribe using the "subscribe to" options in the left hand column, or scroll to the bottom of any page.

Relocating to Banff

2007-08-08T12:57:00.000-06:00

I am officially leaving for Banff on the 11th, however I will be returning to Edmonton for a few days at the end of August to complete my work at Terry Bourque Photography and to ship my things. I will be available for coffee dates and photo shoots during this time (trust me, there will be a lot of them, so book early!). I will also be in Edmonton a few days a month to maintain the processes I've established at Terry's (if all works out as planned), so keep an eye on this site for updates.

I am uncertain what my internet access will be like over the next few months, but I am planning to update this site at least once a week. This site will keep you all updated on my life, my photography, and my location so keep an eye on it or get the RSS feed.

Photo Albums

2007-07-24T23:04:00.000-06:00

Make sure to check out the photo albums (links are on the left hand navigation, just below the link to my FrogHaven blog). I've included a few pics from my recent trip to Little Qualicum Falls and Horne Lake, as well as images from my trip to Berlin last August. More photos are forthcoming, as I sort through my computer in preparation for the move.

Feel free to comment! I love to hear feedback on my images, good or bad.

The Official Story

2007-07-24T22:35:00.001-06:00

I am leaving Edmonton on August 11th. I'll be taking the greyhound to Banff, where Dr. Solez and I are taking Interactive Screen again (this time with the company of the lovely Tori as well!). It was a fantastic conference two years ago, though I got a little bored and wrote up a far too happy description of it which is now -to my horror- available to anyone who googles my name. Life lesson learned: never ever write the final questionnaire for a conference when bored... leads to ridiculous quotations.

While in Banff I will be interviewing and hoping that I get an awesome job. When my time is done in Banff, I'll be wandering off to BC for awhile to visit the 'rents, then hopefully finding my way back here for the summer so I can work at my festivals. Yay festivals!

Wish me luck in the real world!
-L

Growing Pains

2007-07-22T02:23:00.001-06:00

Welcome all!

As I prepare to enter yet another phase in my life, I have decided to start a new blog in order to keep everyone up to date on my trails and travels.

In college, I kept a regular blog with updates on my day-to-day universe, clients, and assignments. This new blog will be far less personal, but will contain updates on my life, location, and photographic projects... All those things I do not otherwise have the time nor attention span to share with all the lovely people in my life, no matter how much I may wish to.

Worried you'll lose track of me once I flee Edmonton? Have no fear! Check this blog every few weeks for new photographs, stories, updates, and general fun. Feel free to comment on any articles, images, or even the blog itself and please sign the guestbook so I know who is visiting.

Wish me luck as I start down yet another strange and new path!
--Lila

Artist's Vision - "The Self Portrait"

2007-07-22T01:29:00.001-06:00

(very slightly tongue-in-cheek)